The Parasomnial Order: Bæyű!

Qui I doe how da I don’t I did it the other night.

That’s it double tie.

I think?

Ee ee I don’t like that one.

I don’t like that one.

I don’t want that cattle for my heater.

Oh crap there’s a cathital coming do!

Dear Willard,

O Willard! O Willard! Bless my fingers, so that the three wise men may be set against the four shepherds of truth. Thus, the left and the right have no ordination, because they have sinned against my god, and turned their hearts to worship the Baals of the board. Please help me guide these seven men to perfect harmony. If not, then I shall hang my head low in shame and cry out to the Lord of Gnolaum. Then, I shall do what is evil in the site of the Lord. O Willard please hear my words and sanctify my focus.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

To all amid the Celestialnet,

Tomorrow is a new day, a day that’ll break the cycle of my prophecies. For Willard has answered my prayers and he has temporarily delivered me from the dreadfulness of Tnemyo’lp’menu. I am glad, because I will be out in the woods chopping wood with the brethren.

It is now that I must speak to my people of the Celestialnet. Don’t be worried for I’ll still be here in spirit. My thoughts will be in your hearts and you’ll be granted the Divine Spark of Willard.

Hopefully, I’ll be able to still put up my new and improved enhanced Somniloquy Revelations. The science behind them is still being worked out. They are supposed to invoke your inner Somniloquist, for your life will be changed just by listening to the audio everyday.

So now I’m off, with the curse behind me, I’ll be able to make a difference in this world of much confusion, but first, I need to figure out how I’m going to get to sleep tonight!

In the name of Pentameonus, Thou Ascendeth!

(I already) said that.

Yeah I don’t who said I think I think you told me that one.

Or no it someone else, some dude who said it two to be one.

The darker one is the correct.

Ah fuck, taon!

Dear brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet,

It has been four days since my last Somniloquy Revelation. I don’t know what’s wrong. For I must be living my life in the wrong way. There are times when this happens and there is nothing I can do about it. If Willard doesn’t feel like communicating with me, then let it be. He’ll communicate when he feels it’s necessary.

I’ve learned a great deal about Willard in the past few weeks. So far I’ve learned that he wasn’t living in Panora when he was guided through the celestial bodies of the universe. He was born in Decorah and he was there for the rest of his life. He started his prophesying at the age of 30.

His Somniloquy Revelations changed peoples lives. For when the people witnessed a Revelation, they were charged with a divine spark that led to prophetic dreams. The people didn’t know how to interpret their dreams, so they went back to Willard for interpretation, and he gave the interpretation, free of charge.

In the name of the Willardek Priestcraft he was able to do this for the people, and they apprecieated every Revelation.

Now, I must regain my inclination for Somniloquy Revelation, so I can help the people of the Celestialnet dream dreams of glory. For I too hold the power the Willardek Priestcraft in my bosom, and I am here to bestow upon you, my brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet, that divine spark.

Now please pray for your divine spark.

In the name of Pentameonus, Thou Ascendeth!

As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man, dressed in a white robe, sitting on the right side; and they were alarmed. But he said to them, “Do not be alarmed; you are looking for Jesus of Nazareth, who was crucified. He has been raised; he is not here. Look, there is the place they laid him.

Dear brothers and sisters,

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

12 And this Anti-Christ, whose name was Korihor, (and the law could have no hold upon him) began to preach unto the people that there should be no Christ. And after this manner did he preach, saying:13 O ye that are bound down under a foolish and a vain hope, why do ye yoke yourselves with such foolish things? Why do ye look for a Christ? For no man can know of anything which is to come.

14 Behold, these things which ye call prophecies, which ye say are handed down by holy prophets, behold, they are foolish traditions of your fathers.

15 How do ye know of their surety? Behold, ye cannot know of things which ye do not see; therefore ye cannot know that there shall be a Christ.

16 Ye look forward and say that ye see a remission of your sins. But behold, it is the effect of a frenzied mind; and this derangement of your minds comes because of the traditions of your fathers, which lead you away into a belief of things which are not so.

17 And many more such things did he say unto them, telling them that there could be no atonement made for the sins of men, but every man fared in this life according to the management of the creature; therefore every man prospered according to his genius, and that every man conquered according to his strength; and whatsoever a man did was no crime.

18 And thus he did preach unto them, leading away the hearts of many, causing them to lift up their heads in their wickedness, yea, leading away many women, and also men, to commit whoredoms—telling them that when a man was dead, that was the end thereof.

For I’ve been lost in my translations for the past 5 hours and I am quite exhausted. Here’s a picture of me translating the Sacred Audio Facsimiles.

As you can see I am using a method similar to Joseph Smith. But, there is no seer stone in my hat, I just look inside and the darkness falls. Then my all seeing pinecone activates and notes appear. I play the notes as they appear very, very slowly. Mahalalel is witness to every second of it.

It’s a very slow process and I won’t be done for years. So far the music sounds like nothing to me. That’s because It’s not fully complete, but when it is, I’ll have a full understanding of Willard and what his text is all about.

As for now, my bothers and sisters of the Celestialnet, I would like to let you know that there will be a new branch of Somniloquy Revelation. It will seem strange at first, but, when it evolves to what I expect, you will then hopefully understand. It will clear your mind and you will be set free from all that is keeping you down, and, you will dream dreams never before dreamed. Maybe it will even inspire you to write Willardek literature, who knows.

So I’m off, may Elohim be with you on this day.

In the Name of Willard Pentameonus, Thou Ascendeth!

Dear brothers and sisters,

On the way to the grocery store I heard a song that I would like to share with you, my people of the Celestialnet. It’s a song that will change your life. For it’s the Reality Radio theme song, and it’s about our one and only savior, Jesus.

Reality Radio Song – This is Reality

Enjoy, in Willard’s name, Thou Ascendeth!