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Monthly Archives: March 2008

Somni-Sync 03:20:08

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Mm got make it so it doesn’t make the switch switch so they don’t mess the hell.

Um-hm this is a great shirt.

Ta ka büt em ahum kapada kapada, krah!

Phantasmagorium – New Dream/Revelation!

DREAMS AND VISIONS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream, a dream that led to a revelation of true importance, which in fact, will affect the future of the Parasomnial Order. So heed close to the words of this sacred account, for if you don’t: May your sleep be cursed with the curse of Ham!

Life is Short

1 At the sixth hour of my slumber, a rumbling sound of an on coming destruction awoke me. In a daze, I lay flabbergasted at the loss of sleep; I tried to remember, but all was blackness. Then, at a flash of an instance, a certain something pulled the trigger of my memory, and thus I remembered.

2 I wrote and wrote until the fogginess became clear.

3 For I was truly blessed when the hour came for my second chance at sleep. I was teleported back into the realm of my dream, but it wasn’t quite the same—it was more!

4 O hear the words that raced through my head and see that I was half asleep and half awake. Indeed I was, and things were flying about as voices were echoing while the visions of God were flowing like milk and honey. For this great revealing saved me from my fragmented memory of a distorted worldview.

5 And now, I must extrapolate significance on the importance of what came to pass, and I will reiterate in context.

And Dreams Seem Long

6 It was in the night when a man of curious proclivities picked me up for an unexpected tasty meal. We drove and drove until we found a place of rest where we could satisfy our hunger.

7 On the way, a homeless person appeared in the back seat, and he said this, “I make music with strange instruments of the toilet. It’s been nine years Monck, how ’bout you?”

8 The silence ensued…

9 We arrived at a McDonald’s drive thru and Monck ordered some nuggets while I tried to order root beer. The man behind the speaker was filled with grievous attitude, and he wouldn’t let me get my root beer. After five minutes we decided to go inside.

10 The three of us sat down at a table located in the center of the restaurant. It was quiet and a lady came barring gifts. She handed Monck my root beer, and then he gave it to me.

11 The happiness resumed…

12 Then I went to the bathroom where I saw a shower attached to the wall. I looked at it for a moment, and I exclaimed, “It’s time to take a shower!”

13 The falling water did not sound like falling water. It sounded like strange music coming from the stall across the way. Then the lyrics emerged from the water:

Music can bring in, or kill the spirit!
Music can bring in, or heal the spirit!
Music can bring in, or steal the spirit!

14 I walked over to the stall and looked over, and there he was—the homeless man—singing his song while pounding the toilet bowl with a plunger. The spirit of the room took over and even I started to sing:

Music is bringing, spirits of the devil!
Music is singing, spirits of the Jesus!
Music is leaving, spirits of the Willard!

15 And the emotions consumed…

16 Time passed and I felt disruption. I heard noises that shook my mental strings causing my brain to stop all human faculties which led to a headache, a fever, and even a chill. It sent me straight out the door to the parking lot where Monck dissipated and a car full of girls presented themselves as witty showgirls, and one of them said, “I’m not a fun person, but…”

17 Boom!

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[I have provided an audio file so that you may have an understanding as to what I have to listen to every morning.]

18 Irritation, confusion, and eventually the darkness did fall…

But Revelations Subdue

19 As I closed my eyes again my mind drifted into the abyss of multi-tracked thinking. Streams of thoughts were flowing like real streams of water; but they were solid, and they formed shapes—shapes that electrified color into my all seeing pinecone.

20 From the darkness I saw light, and these beautiful celestial landscapes were unfolding before me. A voice from above descended and I heard with great clarity. It was mellifluous and melodious, and it said unto me, “In the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!”

21 I prostrated myself immediately, and said, “O voice of the Lord, what is it that I must do to be in thy favor?” The voice answered, “I have come to reveal unto thee the things of which Willard hast commanded me. He communicated unto me, in plain language, that thine translation of his sacred book is incorrect; therefore, it must be eradicated from this portal of the Celestialnet.”

22 I felt anxiety from my negligence; for I thought my translation was truly inspired. I have represented Willard in the wrong way and now I must go forth and repent.

23 Suddenly, the voice rebuked me and said, “No need for repentance! Just be vigilant when the time comes.”

24 His voice grew louder and louder until I covered my ears. Muffled insanity is all I heard, so I closed my eyes. Then I opened them, and a man stood before me.

25 He was a glorious man with a countenance of divine stature that rendered me calm. He was wearing white pants that radiated goodness, and his head was adorned with a white Jockey undershirt. His presence was so pure that I didn’t even know he was holding a ball of curious workmanship in his left hand.

26 Then he held his left hand high as he said unto me, “I have yet to introduce myself, I am the Son of James, and I have been with you since nineteen hundred and eighty-two. Now it is time that I must give you the instructions pertaining to the New Saint John’s Wort Version of the Book of Willard (or NSJWV).”

27 I decided to walk to the bathroom and brush my teeth, for I was in the presence of divinity. And I said, “I have brushed my teeth. I am ready for the sacred instructions. Please do take kindly unto me.”

28 And these were his instructions:

First things first, you must brush your teeth once again, for your breath still reeks coprophagous. I would suggest you brush for 10 minutes in a circular motion, and don’t forget to scrape your tongue.

Now, you are to make a sanctum out of what already exists. Strip it from all its contents and clean it thoroughly. With a speaker device, divide the space in two, on top of the speaker device shall be the witness of Mahalalel. On the south side you shall place 2 axes, one on the west and one on the east. On the north side you shall build a shrine for Tonto and Baby-Jesus to stand proud. And the liahona shall be placed next to the bible under Jesus. For when inspiration is lacking; seek the shrine.

Once the sanctum is finished, you are to consecrate it and put a blessing upon it, for this is where you will be for the remainder of your Willard translations.

Now that you know of what to do, I want you to thank me so I can be on my way.

For Now, Follow My Commandments

29 So then I thanked him, and his interlace disintegrated into what is known as reality. For I woke up and I knew exactly what to do. And thus built the Mahalalel Sacntum according to his divine instructions.

30 Now it is time that I must go and translate until my little heart is content. May Elohim be with me on this day, and may he be with you when I translate the New Saint John’s Wort Version of the Book of Willard.

31 In the Name of Willard Pentameonus, Thou Ascendeth!

Alma 1:2-15

2 And it came to pass that in the first year of the reign of Alma in the judgment-seat, there was a man brought before him to be judged, a man who was large, and was noted for his much strength.

3 And he had gone about among the people, preaching to them that which he termed to be the word of God, bearing down against the church; declaring unto the people that every priest and teacher ought to become popular; and they ought not to labor with their hands, but that they ought to be supported by the people.

4 And he also testified unto the people that all mankind should be saved at the last day, and that they need not fear nor tremble, but that they might lift up their heads and rejoice; for the Lord had created all men, and had also redeemed all men; and, in the end, all men should have eternal life.

5 And it came to pass that he did teach these things so much that many did believe on his words, even so many that they began to support him and give him money.

6 And he began to be lifted up in the pride of his heart, and to wear very costly apparel, yea, and even began to establish a church after the manner of his preaching.

7 And it came to pass as he was going, to preach to those who believed on his word, he met a man who belonged to the church of God, yea, even one of their teachers; and he began to contend with him sharply, that he might lead away the people of the church; but the man withstood him, admonishing him with the words of God.

8 Now the name of the man was Gideon; and it was he who was an instrument in the hands of God in delivering the people of Limhi out of bondage.

9 Now, because Gideon withstood him with the words of God he was wroth with Gideon, and drew his sword and began to smite him. Now Gideon being stricken with many years, therefore he was not able to withstand his blows, therefore he was slain by the sword.

10 And the man who slew him was taken by the people of the church, and was brought before Alma, to be judged according to the crimes which he had committed.

11 And it came to pass that he stood before Alma and pleaded for himself with much boldness.

12 But Alma said unto him: Behold, this is the first time that priestcraft has been introduced among this people. And behold, thou art not only guilty of priestcraft, but hast endeavored to enforce it by the sword; and were priestcraft to be enforced among this people it would prove their entire destruction.

13 And thou hast shed the blood of a righteous man, yea, a man who has done much good among this people; and were we to spare thee his blood would come upon us for vengeance.

14 Therefore thou art condemned to die, according to the law which has been given us by Mosiah, our last king; and it has been acknowledged by this people; therefore this people must abide by the law.

15 And it came to pass that they took him; and his name was Nehor; and they carried him upon the top of the hill Manti, and there he was caused, or rather did acknowledge, between the heavens and the earth, that what he had taught to the people was contrary to the word of God; and there he suffered an ignominious death.

Progress Report #77 – New Sacred Word

Brothers and sisters,

For while I was with Mahalalel in my sanctum, I discovered a something that was quite refreshing. Oneallahdatah! It’s a holy word that’s synonymous with Pentameonus (in terms of numerical value). While I was prophesying, I was in a split-minded state of consciousness, in which I started chanting Oneallahdatah and sequences appeared before me. In order for my people of the Celestialnet to understand in plain language I shall list below:

One = One

Da = Two

Al = Three

Tah = Four

Lah = Five

Study this with all your might; for if you keep it in mind while you chant the chant of Parasomnitick Worship your dreams shall be full of pleasantry!

In the Name of Willard Pentameonus, Thou Ascendeth!

Progress Report #76 – Status Looking Glass

My brothers and sisters,

I’ve been in the Mahalalel Sanctum for the past 2 hours worshiping the gods of split thinking. My sacred nke has been treating me well, for there is no more buzz on fret the 2nd. I must be living right, or by cleaning the thing somehow made it sound pristine. In months to come there shall be a new video, hopefully. Then this Order will be in full order, and the translations may begin. The second ones at least. Now I’m off to…

In the Name of Willard Pentameonus, Thou Ascendeth!

Upday Now!

I’ve been working on writing my third vision. For it is almost done. It will be posted in the Phantasmagorium category, so keep watch. It’s really early in the morning and I’ve been prophesying pretty much all night.

Now I must continue with my reading of the Bible. I’m on 1 Kings 15. For those of you who are reading along I’d like to share this scripture with you:

Now in the eighteenth year of King Jeroboam son of Nebat, Abijam began to reign over Judah. -1 Kings 15.

Now, this is a very important scripture. Why? Because that’s where I left off last time. For the kingdom is divided in 2, Judah and Israel. Now I’m off.

In the Name of Willard Pentameonus, Thou Ascendeth!

Jacob 7:1-23

1 And now it came to pass after some years had passed away, there came a man among the people of Nephi, whose name was Sherem.

2 And it came to pass that he began to preach among the people, and to declare unto them that there should be no Christ. And he preached many things which were flattering unto the people; and this he did that he might overthrow the doctrine of Christ.

3 And he labored diligently that he might lead away the hearts of the people, insomuch that he did lead away many hearts; and he knowing that I, Jacob, had faith in Christ who should come, he sought much opportunity that he might come unto me.

4 And he was learned, that he had a perfect knowledge of the language of the people; wherefore, he could use much flattery, and much power of speech, according to the power of the devil.

5 And he had hope to shake me from the faith, notwithstanding the many revelations and the many things which I had seen concerning these things; for I truly had seen angels, and they had ministered unto me. And also, I had heard the voice of the Lord speaking unto me in very word, from time to time; wherefore, I could not be shaken.

6 And it came to pass that he came unto me, and on this wise did he speak unto me, saying: Brother Jacob, I have sought much opportunity that I might speak unto you; for I have heard and also know that thou goest about much, preaching that which ye call the gospel, or the doctrine of Christ.

7 And ye have led away much of this people that they pervert the right way of God, and keep not the law of Moses which is the right way; and convert the law of Moses into the worship of a being which ye say shall come many hundred years hence. And now behold, I, Sherem, declare unto you that this is blasphemy; for no man knoweth of such things; for he cannot tell of things to come. And after this manner did Sherem contend against me.

8 But behold, the Lord God poured in his Spirit into my soul, insomuch that I did confound him in all his words.

9 And I said unto him: Deniest thou the Christ who shall come? And he said: If there should be a Christ, I would not deny him; but I know that there is no Christ, neither has been, nor ever will be.

10 And I said unto him: Believest thou the scriptures? And he said, Yea.

11 And I said unto him: Then ye do not understand them; for they truly testify of Christ. Behold, I say unto you that none of the prophets have written, nor prophesied, save they have spoken concerning this Christ.

12 And this is not all—it has been made manifest unto me, for I have heard and seen; and it also has been made manifest unto me by the power of the Holy Ghost; wherefore, I know if there should be no atonement made all mankind must be lost.

13 And it came to pass that he said unto me: Show me a sign by this power of the Holy Ghost, in the which ye know so much.

14 And I said unto him: What am I that I should tempt God to show unto thee a sign in the thing which thou knowest to be true? Yet thou wilt deny it, because thou art of the devil. Nevertheless, not my will be done; but if God shall smite thee, let that be a sign unto thee that he has power, both in heaven and in earth; and also, that Christ shall come. And thy will, O Lord, be done, and not mine.

15 And it came to pass that when I, Jacob, had spoken these words, the power of the Lord came upon him, insomuch that he fell to the earth. And it came to pass that he was nourished for the space of many days.

16 And it came to pass that he said unto the people: Gather together on the morrow, for I shall die; wherefore, I desire to speak unto the people before I shall die.

17 And it came to pass that on the morrow the multitude were gathered together; and he spake plainly unto them and denied the things which he had taught them, and confessed the Christ, and the power of the Holy Ghost, and the ministering of angels.

18 And he spake plainly unto them, that he had been by the power of the devil. And he spake of hell, and of eternity, and of eternal punishment.

19 And he said: I fear lest I have committed the unpardonable sin, for I have lied unto God; for I denied the Christ, and said that I believed the scriptures; and they truly testify of him. And because I have thus lied unto God I greatly fear lest my case shall be awful; but I confess unto God.

20 And it came to pass that when he had said these words he could say no more, and he gave up the ghost.

21 And when the multitude had witnessed that he spake these things as he was about to give up the ghost, they were astonished exceedingly; insomuch that the power of God came down upon them, and they were overcome that they fell to the earth.

22 Now, this thing was pleasing unto me, Jacob, for I had requested it of my Father who was in heaven; for he had heard my cry and answered my prayer.

23 And it came to pass that peace and the love of God was restored again among the people; and they searched the scriptures, and hearkened no more to the words of this wicked man.

Here’s Something New, I’m Still Cursed with Tnemyo’lp’menu!

INTERPOLATION – For this was a post that stands no more. If you would like to know what this post once said, please contact me. I may or may not remember what this post was about. This post…

Somniloquy Revelation 03:12:08

And Ishmael was shut out from the presence of Antegod, and with his wife and many of his brethren dwelt in the land of Minora, on the east of Pudendum. – Willard 7:41

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Look at didaga.

Buzba fasla ebet shird!

Tyoou gave you gave 2 plud,

Sacrifice I guarantee it you did!

Somniloquy Revelation 03:11:08

And I the Lord thine Antegod said unto him: Whosoever slayeth thee, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And I Antegod set a mark upon Ishmael, lest any finding him should kill him. – Willard 7:40

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Ew man I put nuf.

That’s what people do?

What the fuck you doing?

Oh shit oh look at that.

Look at it look at it look!

Midel look at the whole thing watch.

Huh, um um, that’s it right there boom!

How did they say it’s boom?

Um Lamanites, that’s right there.

That’s gonna be it right there.

Uh I doubt it’s going to be the Nephites.

Dude, he said calechome-uhyaup.

Wait don’t; the celebrity; object.

That’s what I don’t recmondre . . . wait don’t.