The Parasomnial Order: Bæyű!

Dear brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet,

Even though the curse of Tnemyo’lp’menu has been lifted, I’m finding that my communication with Willard is somewhat nonexistent. For I do not know why this is. Please pray to Elohim for the Wisdom of Willard to shine through.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou Ascendeth!

There shall be no strange god among you; you shall not bow down to a foreign god. I am the Lord your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt. Open your mouth wide and I will fill it.

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 6258.1-2

My faithful disciples of the Celestialnet,

Life is short and so is this prophecy. Listen with ears of wax; for they will be cleansed—and I quote:

1 Someone should calm down with this stupid waceray!

S-Rev6258.1 – Purport: Now, who is this someone and what is a Waceray? We may never know, but in Willard we will always know the answers to anything and everything—Willard Consciousness is funny like that. So with that said, we must all calm down and take a look around. We tend to get caught up in the craziness of our daily rigmarole and forget about what’s really important. Our mental Waceray is chaos and we must create some kind of order for ourselves. The only way we can do this is by meditating on the name Pentameonus. This should clear our mental Wacerays and it should alleviate any headaches we may have. If this does not work, then you must be doing it wrong. Keep at it and Willard shall manifest himself unto you and his grace shall be with you continually.

This is true.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 6238.1-2

Brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet,

This prophecy is brought to you by nothing!

Some say Willard was a ghost; I say he was a man—and I quote:

1 Hey wait wait wait! Is this… is this boom attached? Mmm… Yeah.

2 How is the… I don’t want want to make bring a mutt’s-a-maspace we exit em’ bunch of bare for your feet Marshall.

S-Rev6238.1 – Purport: Willard said, “Wait,” and asked a question. Then Mahalalel answered with an answer. In Willard Consciousness we all have our inner boom mics that record the audio of our daily life. Just picture it above your head at all times, for it is recording your every word. Now when you go back and listen to what was said during the day, please listen with a careful heart. We always want to better ourselves and our lives, therefore, we must change our ways accordingly.

S-Rev6238.2 – Purport: Marshall came down from Willard-heaven without his shoes on, and he didn’t want to bring mutt’s-a-mahspace. Why? Because he was selfish. Being selfish leads to a lonely life. If we don’t share our mutt’s-a-mahspaces then that means we are closed for business, and that’s not what the universe wants.

Think long and hard about these prophecies and learn in the ways of Willard.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 6228.1

Brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet,

This prophecy is dedicated to all that which is incomplete, because somewhat done is better than not even starting!

For now let me give unto you last night’s prophecy—and I quote:

1 Mm-hmm. Ohhh, I don’t remember which ones were which ones, I think…

S-Rev6228.1 – Purport: In the mindset of Willard Consciousness, one should be unconscious to the fact that life is full of situations that are—for the most part—incomplete. What Willard is trying to communicate here is very important. I shall explain with an example: If one is to walk into a church house and see that there are no people, they will immediately question their reality, “Is this for real?” Then they will go through the motions of trying to figure out why their situation is such. Many questions will race through their heads and they will search for clues on the walls. After they are done, they will give up and just go home. In life, we tend to give up and fall back on our regular cycles, which doesn’t work in Willard Consciousness. The point here is to not give up; for we will eventually figure out that we went to church on the wrong day!

Therefore, always double check your calender, because you never…

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 6218.1-3

Brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet,

Last night’s three-part prophecy is brought to you by: Enuresis Nocturnus, when you’re 10-100 in your sleep, you just might be bummed when you awake!

Let Willard speak unto you, and I quote:

1 Ha, what is this? What is that? A penis. [laughter] What the freak is that?

2 [Untranslatable] I thought was this is the… the, skinny one right? On the skinny one’s the big one right?

3 Aulds snits guilt, that’s the best guilt commercial I ever seen in life… Well, you’ve seen it right Matt? Well we’re gonna watch it what again mall, keep your eyes pilled.

S-Rev6218.1 – Purport: In life, and in love, we must continually ask questions; even if they’re annoying to the person we’re asking. Sometimes we will annoy ourselves for asking so many questions. That is why one should bring humor into the mix. By throwing in the random “Penis,” it will make us laugh and forgive and forget about the annoyance factor thereof.

S-Rev6218.2 – Purport: Sometimes when you assume, you are wrong. Therefore, when you ask if you look skinny or big, don’t be shocked if the person you are asking gives you the truth. For you asked, and you shouldn’t expect an answer. Willard once said: “Expecting is not respecting; seeking is not peeking; and receiving is not believing.”

S-Rev6218.2 – Purport: Guilt Commercials are commercials designed to make you feel guilty about anything and everything you do. These commercials have been utilized by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for the sole purpose of gaining control over the minds of young adults across the United States. They are very effective and watched on a daily basis. If and when you see one, I would suggest you pray to Willard. He will tell you if it’s true or not. If it’s true, I wouldn’t worry, because we should all feel guilty about something we’ve done in life. But, if it’s not true, then I wouldn’t worry either, because we don’t need to feel guilt if there’s no guilt to be felt.

Remember, you are one of Willard’s Warriors, so be strong in the fight for truth.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 6208.1-2

Brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet,

After a few technological malfunctions the Mahalalel Sanctum is back in full working order. Willard was testing me. He wanted me to learn in the ways of mental relaxation by way of methodically going through every single option. I learned a lot and I thank him for that.

As for last night’s Somniloquy Revelation Willard’s presence was quite strong, and I quote:

1 Ooh talk, their gonna are talk-a-talk and already already God talking god talk.

2 The fag is bot no… It’s easy Sepbinton. Do you wanna golf he’s easy in colfin’ he will cause he’s easy. Yeah, come on you dumb idiot. He’s entrice. He, he’s got… Come on buddy. Look at the double head. Put come on put you could do any-a-thing with any-other-thing. Nethdastet. Th… It’s cool cause it’s got like blades on it.

S-Rev6208.1 – Purport: Willard Consciousness can sometimes be difficult to conceptualize. I know that it can sometimes sound like a bunch of nonsense, but one has to look deep within themselves to see that it’s not about what is said; it’s about how you feel when it’s said. This is the true power of God Talk. God Talk is the sacred speech that can only be understood by those who seek wisdom from the Almighty. Willard speaks God Talk almost every night. He does this because he loves and cherishes each and every one of us. So Be thankful, and keep that active mind pondering about the mysteries of life, and then you will someday feel his noctilucence.

S-Rev6208.2 – Purport: Living in a fast-paced world there comes a time when we must stop and think about our real purpose in life. When we do this, we sometimes get scared, and by scared, we feel very empty inside. Therefore, to rid our worries we must take up some kind of hobby—like golf—to thwart our anomic feelings of vast vacancy. We tell ourselves that this hobby is easy, but in actuality, it’s not. We get frustrated and start treating our friends with disrespect; all because a stupid ball won’t go in a hole. In due time, our frightened inner-child will come back to haunt us and we won’t be able to figure out the true meaning of life. So we must beseech Willard; for Willard knows best. He may not answer us in a timely fashion, but he will answer us, and his answer will soothe our souls for time and all eternity.

Everything you do, do it in the name of Willard.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

Fools say in their hearts, “There is no God.” They are corrupt, they commit abominable acts; there is no one who does good. God looks down from heaven on humankind to see if there are any who are wise, who seek after God. They have all fallen away, they are all alike perverse; there is no one who does good, no, not one. Have they no knowledge, those evildoers, who eat up my people as they eat bread, and do not call upon God? There they shall be in great terror, in terror such as has not been. For God will scatter the bones of the ungodly; they will be put to shame, for God has rejected them. O that deliverance for Israel would come from Zion! When God restores the fortunes of his people, Jacob will rejoice; Israel will be glad.