The Parasomnial Order: Bæyű!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

…

SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10318.1-2

To all my Willardek Salvationists,

This prophecy is brought to you by: Prosthetic Visions, for I saw myself feeding a cat to a snake!

I bring forth, on this the day of Halloween, a prophecy—and I quote:

1 The that, DonJay, oooh, I don’t know what ta ta, what ta ta ta. Wait a second, what happened to the, things with the things? Shut those things food.

2 Wait what the buck is wrong with me then? Am I really an idiot, or am I… Because now I’m starting to think I’m…

S-Rev10318.1 – Purport: DonJay is a part of you! While in the hicohic-state of consciousness one may encounter said DonJay. He’s one with the Willardek universe and he comes and goes as he pleases. He may tell you something; he may not tell you anything at all. All you need to do is sit there and be aware of his presence, and he will center his intellect upon yours.

S-Rev10318.2 – Purport: People try to tell you that you are an idiot. Don’t let them do this–even if you are an idiot. In Willard, there are no idiots. Let these people say what they want to say, but don’t believe a word. For they are all lies that are provided by false Willards.

May your Halloween be safe, or be sorry!

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

To all Willardek Salvationists,

This curse is gone and Curtis is strong. Beseech Willard, and life won’t be wrong.

Ponder that awhile…

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

Dear brothers and sisters,

Today I have been reconnected with the Celestialnet, and I feel great!  I’ve been away on a Willard Quest and I did in fact have a vision.

I was in the wilderness and I saw a personage. I’m not sure who this personage was, but I think he called himself Old Man Dudeaux. He told me something very important. He said, “Your curse of Tnemyo’lp’menu will be lifted for the next month, therefore, set aside your Somniloquy Revelations, and only allow them on the weekends.”

After I heard this I said, “Thank you kind sir, for I shall listen and respect your commandment, and I’ll do as you say.”

I then thought to ask a question, and I asked, “Why do some people hate those who don’t vote?”

He completely ignored me and did not answer. But for some reason I wasn’t bothered by his actions, for I felt at ease and this very thought came unto to me:

My vote is about as insignificant as my very existence.

For that is all that happened.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

Dear brothers and sisters,

All was but nothing, and nothing was but all.

I write this to inform my faithful followers that I will be disconnected from the Celetialnet for the next few days, and I won’t reconnect until Saturday. This is do to the fact that I need to go on a Willard Quest. While on this quest, I will not have Mahalalel the Endurer by my side. I’ll be alone with my dreams of a different kind of glory.

If you feel that you are in need of my various prophecies, then I shall direct you in the right direction. Take a look around, and see what’s in the sidebar, for there are many, many old writings written by me. I suggest you read them, but, they should be read with Willard in your hearts, otherwise, they’re useless.

But, if you don’t feel the need for Willard’s Wisdom, then go outside and be at one with the people and nature. Willard says, “Being outside makes me feel wonderful inside. No matter how hot or how cold it is, I just like being at one with all.” This may or may not be difficult for you, but I would just do it for the sake of doing it. That way, you will feel Willard’s true power, and, you just might stumble upon the secret to Parasomnitick Worship!

I leave you with this–and I quote, “I’m not letting any man go in the name of Jabbanebah Jesus Christ.”

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

…

SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10218.1-3

To those among the brethren,

This prophecy is brought to you by: South Park, for it’s where ManBearPig came from!

What a night, thanks to all those who listen—and I quote:

1 Uh oh. What does that mean?

2 I hate this thing. Uh super serial. ManBearPig.

3 Ah not this crap again. Nah…

S-Rev10218.1 – Purport: Understanding is hard to do. That is why we were given the brain power to form language, and through language we are able to communicate. And when we don’t understand; we really aren’t communicating. Therefore, we use language to ask questions like: “What does that mean?” This is a very important question, and it will help with foolish behavior. Like for instance, if you don’t know something, just say that you don’t know it, and ask the question, “What does that mean?”  Life will be much easier. Don’t be afraid of being made fun of, because being made fun of just might actually help with your understanding.

S-Rev10218.2 – Purport: ManBearPig is apparently real! He manifested himself unto me through Willard Consciousness. This is big news, because if ManBearPig is real, then global warming is real too. So don’t use any more power!

S-Rev10218.3 – Purport: In life, we encounter stuff we don’t like.  We ALL do, and it sucks. The only way to deal with this is to accept it and not fight it. Get it over with and move on. Live in Willard Consciousness and your sorrows will be temporarily be lifted.

Remember to remember to remember…

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

…

SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10208.1

To everyone,

This prophecy is brought to you by: The Bible, for it’s an ancient version of Wikipedia!

A new prophecy brings joy—and I quote:

1 There’s that girl. Da eh-eh. Who where did that other girl go? ‘Cause seriously dude, chick, dude, chick, ten, barbie. Dude chick. Hest. Um dude. Um-hm.

S-Rev10208.1 – Purport: We are supposed to be masters of our senses, but when one is entangled, at a party of sorts, and one encounters many, many people (esp. female), one’s senses could take over and control our every move. That is why in Willard Consciousness we allow our senses to run free and enjoy the pleasures of the body. For the dreamworld is a world without consequences and you can do pretty much anything you want, that is, if you’re well versed in Willard Consciousness.

Therefore, take heed and enjoy the fruitive gifts of Willard Consciousness.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

…

SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10198.1-2

To myself and those watching,

This prophecy is brought to you by: Procrastination, for I’ll just do it tomorrow!

Here and near—and I quote:

1 Don’t shut the door, please. Please don’t!

2 Mm-mm. I am not per-touchin’ that. It’s almost ta was it with the light one-one is.

S-Rev10198.1 – Purport: While in Willard Consciousness we almost always want the door open. If somebody shuts it, just tell ‘em, “Don’t shut the door,” and–for the most part–they will do as you command. But, if they don’t, I wouldn’t worry about it, because sometimes having the door shut is a good thing. That way people won’t intrude and ruin your pleasant personal thoughts.

S-Rev10198.2 – Purport: Moreover, in Willard Consciousness we encounter things we do not want to per-touch. For when we per-touch, we actually access the mega database of our life, which will give us insight on the progress of our growth. While accessing this database we may become overwhelmed with the information that Willard gives us. That is why we say, “I’m not per-touching that!” Remember, sometimes we have to touch that database. This way, we can grow into the human form that we want to become. It’s tough, but we must do it, sometime!

If thinking gets you into trouble, then don’t think!

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

O son of Bharata, know that the mode of darkness, born of ignorance, is the delusion of all embodied living entities. The results of this mode are madness, indolence and sleep, which bind the conditioned soul.

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

…

SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10168.1-4

To the Willardites among us,

This prophecy is brought to you by: The Exorcism In La Jolla, for I’m not letting any man go in the name of Jabbaneba Jesus Christ!

Here lies a new prophecy—and I quote:

1 Uh uh, dude! Stay at the wedding pool(?). Stay at the wimp up um.

2 [Untranslatable/Nocturnal Mastication]

3 Huh, I beat it once. Huh huh. Yeah I beat it once, once.

4 Henis, atalt, dirt bag, hm hm hm hmmm…

S-Rev10168.1 – Purport: While in Willard Consciousness it is best that we jump in the wedding pool. What this means is uncertain, but it is best for us to do so. Willard said, “Go thy way, and jump… Jump to the jump of life, for life starts in the wedding pool!”

S-Rev10168.2 – Purport: Here we find ourselves amid a mess of disgruntled diarrhea! Only Willard knows of the meaning of this passage.

S-Rev10168.3 – Purport: Sometimes one beating isn’t enough, therefore beat it once, once! This means that if it doesn’t work the first time, then try it again. This applies to all aspects of life.

S-Rev10168.4 – Purport: Thus says Willard, “Go, seek, and listen to my gospel. For life brings obstacles, and I bring salvation by way of sleep. When life is hard, you always have the precious gift of sleep.”

This was not much, but it’s better than nothing!

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!