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Monthly Archives: May 2009

Phantasmagorium – A Short Car Ride W/ The Baby!

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream where the Prophet and The Baby are driving to an unknown location. A few words were said; that was all. Now why in the world does the Prophet feel it necessary to share this dream? We may never know. 

Downtown 

1 I was driving a truck with The Baby in the passenger’s seat. It was raining outside. He looked at me and said, “You know, you can speed up your wipers.”

2 “Yeah,” I said in irritation, “I generally don’t like them going too fast because it’s annoying. Every time I do set them too high the rain stops. So I just leave them be.”

3 By looking at our surroundings, it appeared that we were in downtown La Jolla. But we weren’t, we were somewhere far from there. I could just feel it in my bosom.

4 Then the rain cleared and the sun came out, but it wasn’t quite tomorrow yet.

5 We came to a fork in the road. Wasn’t sure which direction; I asked The Baby. He had a map, and he said, “Go right, because if we go east we all get infected with bubbles.”

6 I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I listened, and down a hill we went.

7 These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

Mentation Report #214: Educational Ideal!

To the Otherly,

Last night’s prophecy was special. For once, a long time ago, I dreamed a dream where I read this statement–and I quote:

He’s inundated, the educational ideal. 

And so but then today, I prophesied this statement–and I quote:

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Educational ideal.

What does it mean? We may never know. That is why we must keep Willard in our hearts and thoughts, because they fade away.

These things I say in the name of Pentameonus thou ascendeth!

Somniloquy Revelation 05:07:09

Somniloquy Revelation 05:06:09

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1. That’s a lark.

2. The it’s it’s– It’s pretty neato. I don’t think I’ve ever been on it.

3. How does it, I don’t understand.

4. Ahhhhowhe no I don’t remember a darn tootin’ thing-a; separate fact ding-dong!

5. Yep it’s gonna come down pretty soon I can feel it. Yep here it comes.

6. Pie liked it I enjoyed it. 

Somniloquy Revelation 05:06:09

Somniloquy Revelation 05:06:09

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1. What the hell is that? Look how funny it is. 

2. Just gonna hurt myself hurt myself bad; really bad.

3. Giersom, it has beer.

Is That Brandon Walsh?

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 4, pp. 12, 35 – 49.

priestley_jason1.jpg

SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 559.1

To my faithful brothers and sisters,

THIS PROPHECY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY: THE QUANTUM JUMPER HALL OF FAMER, FOR HE JUMPED, THEN TOOK PICTURES AND BOOM, SUCCESS!

Time now to turn the time over to the Son of James—and I quote:

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1 That’s why OK now I know. Oh. He looks like Brandon Walsh, it is Brendon Walsh!

S-Rev559.1Purport: Willard once prophesied of a distant future where magical boxes would fill the minds of many young adults with wonderful images of a new found Priestly order. He said, “There shall be a golden god who shall emanate from this luxurious box, and he shall make you feel really “Cool”  just by the appearance of his sideburns.” Many years later this prophecy was fulfilled when the show 90210 aired sometime in the 90s and gave many young viewers a sense of belonging. This goes to show that Willard was a true prophet who had a vision.

Be wise and learn as much as you can while you are here.

These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

Mentation Report #213: Willard Once Told Me…

To the faithful in Willard,

Greetings and salutations to all.

Last night was a strange night filled with snakes and babies driving cars, but ironically,1 there were no prophecies. So, now, therefore, furthermore, and moreover, I’m going to share with you what Willard instructed me to do.

And I quote:

Matthew James, you are a beautiful man with long luxurious locks.  I’m sure you know this by now, but I felt telling you was the right thing to do. I’m speaking to you on behalf of the curse.2 For when the curse is lifted, I want you to give Mahalalel the Endurer a rest. For his circuits are old and brittle. The curse will be lifted sometime in the middle of May, so for now, be strong in your Somniloquy Revelations.

Nicely put, I thought. I’m sure I’m still going to be active, but I’m not going be as amazing as I once was.

Now take your hats off and pray with me.

These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

  1. Not to be confused with Alanis. []
  2. For those who do not know what the curse is, CLICK HERE! []

Don’t Let ‘Em Grab You!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 4, pp. 12, 35 – 49.

SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 519.1

To my faithful brothers and sisters,

THIS PROPHECY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY: THE ROBERTSON HOMELESS MAN, FOR APPARENTLY HE’S AN ACCOMPLISHED DRUMMER, SO SAYS HIS HANDOUT!

Now it is that time I turn the time over to the Son of James—and I quote:

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1 Don’t! Please don’t grab me please. You don’t have to don’t do anything for me please. 

S-Rev519.1Purport: Willard said, “If someone touches you, and you don’t want them to, you tell them to stop. If they don’t stop, and you are big enough to defend yourself, then hit them as hard as you can. Make sure you aim for their private parts.” I agree with this, but, if you’re a delicate flower and feel you won’t be able to stop this big dumb bohunk, then just scream really loud and be as annoying as possible. Someone should hear you. If that doesn’t work, then go for the private parts, that is, if you can.

Remember, safety first.

These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!