The Parasomnial Order: Bæyű!

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream where Matthew James catches the perpetrator who was messing with the cars outside. He takes him to his home and later gets a huge headache from an indoor roller coaster accident.

…

Disturbance At The BDCC

1 I am awakened by my father. He says someone is messing with the cars out front. It’s the BDCC, anything could happen!

2 They might have been hosing the tops down with water. Apparently that’s a bad thing, if it freezes, we’re all screwed.

3 I poke my head out and look around. I’m very wary of my surroundings, for it’s nighttime.

4 We take it to the back where the golf course is covered in the night’s blackness. I recall phone calls and possible electrical impulses throughout. We inspect the premises, we hit the lights, switch the settings, then boom! We see the perpetrator.

5 He’s a young neighborhood kid from one of the new houses from across the fairway. He’s short, chubby, with long hair and a baseball cap. We walk him over to his house. His mom seems to know what he did. “He’s been acting funny lately.”

6 It could have been his medication, but the point is, we found him; the neighborhood is safe.

…

Suddenly At Pseudo Work

7 At work now, apparently. It’s daytime and the sun is bright. Today’s work involves testing this new indoor roller coaster. I’m not sure why, but hey, it seems fun.

8 Three of us are on it, ready to go. We end up at this part where it’s hard to stop, the hand-brakes don’t seem to be working, and we derail, safely.

9 The second time around, not so safe. At that same section we derail and I go flying. I hit the wall, head first, and lie there for a moment. I get up and walk outside.

10 I feel fine, except for the fact that the left side of my head hurts really bad–it’s throbbing, and the sun isn’t helping. There were two confirmed injuries, and the day is done.

11 I try to locate my keys, but I can’t seem to find my car. I get a ride on this gator-like vehicle to my car. I get off and this attractive older lady tells me about my huge bruise on my head.

12 “Is it that bad?” I asked. “Yeah, it’s pretty bad.” I need a doctor, or someone needs to take me to the hospital.

13 I believe I find my car.

14 An employer calls me, I answer. He says, “Could you come in tonight to get the sunset at the house? Bob’s got the ND. You’d only be there for like 45 minutes.” I start to tell him that I was involved in an accident and needed the ER.

15 I don’t remember his response, but I do remember waking up with the left side of my head throbbing.

7 These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream where the Prophet and The Baby are driving to an unknown location. A few words were said; that was all. Now why in the world does the Prophet feel it necessary to share this dream? We may never know. 

…

Downtown 

1 I was driving a truck with The Baby in the passenger’s seat. It was raining outside. He looked at me and said, “You know, you can speed up your wipers.”

2 “Yeah,” I said in irritation, “I generally don’t like them going too fast because it’s annoying. Every time I do set them to high the rain stops. So I just leave them be.”

3 By looking at our surroundings, it appeared that we were in downtown La Jolla. But we weren’t, we were somewhere far from there. I could just feel it in my bosom.

4 Then the rain cleared and the sun came out, but it wasn’t quite tomorrow yet.

5 We came to a fork in the road. Wasn’t sure which direction; I asked The Baby. He had a map, and he said, “Go right, because if we go east we all get infected with bubbles.”

6 I wasn’t sure what that meant, but I listened, and down a hill we went.

7 These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream set in a house where the Prophet and coworkers sit at a round table where a woman of obvious lesbian descent grades their paper. But before all the grading, was the production. Nothing too important here, just a funny state of Reverie.  

…

Round Table Discussion 

1 We were in a house, a house not so impressive. A middle aged woman of obvious lesbian descent was grading our paper–a paper that we had already corrected. She was mad at the fact that we marked it up with corrections. Her reason, “It looks very sloppy–unprofessional.” So I told her, as I reached across the table and gingerly touched her shoulder, “Next time… I’ll type it out.”

2 There were about four of us gathered around this table. One them was a tough guy with the build of a body builder. Everyone called him Muscles. The others were just various people with no distinctive attributes.  Of these, was a guy who called himself the Miasmic-Metamorphosis, he was somewhat of a skinny guy.

3 The lesbian finished grading our paper that I hand wrote. She gave us a score of 87. She said, “You guys could have done better.”

4 Now before all this grading business, we were working in the adjacent room on this production. We were doing some bedroom scene where this teenage boy was being confronted with drug abuse. It was for one of those after school specials. I remember Muscles (who was the cameraman) telling someone that he does audio as well, and that if they needed him, they should hire him. He was saying this because he thought his sound guy was crap.

5 When the scene was done, I was in the other room talking with Muscles about some fart cakes video that he saw. I asked him if he was into Brazilian Fart Porn. He never confirmed, but he knew what I was talking about, you could see it in his countenance.

6 Then I walked back to the grading room. I saw my old friend, the one with the Germanic nose. He was much smaller than I remembered, and sounded like a chipmunk. He was complaining about something to do with being very small. I thought that someone made fun of his stature and voice, but I wasn’t so sure.

7 For that was all that happened.

8 These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream set in the future where the prophet is selected to work on a highly sophisticated project that included the developing of a new class of species. In it, Matthew James learns that he no longer will be able to survive with this superior technology taking over.  

…

Birth to the Future

1 It was night at the time when I was diligently working in a ditch full of leaves and poison ivy. Scraping the leaves into piles of five was my job. I was to clean the whole ditch with my bare hands. The reason for this I did not know. They were just orders from them, and I simply followed.

2 An hour later… I completed my task. They were surprised at my mundane ability to stay focused on something that had no meaning to me. They discussed among themselves and motioned me over. We talked about my various interests and they selected me for a new job, one with “Major Evolutionary Possibilities.”

3 I thought they were impressed with my neatly arranged piles of leaves, but they told me how they saw something in me that was more than just average. They said they saw an “Inner Noctilucence,” and told me about my next assignment.

4 Another hour had passed… and I arrived. I was in the backyard of a very exclusive house that was brightly lit by the moon. There were few clouds in the sky and I was very eager for what was to come.

5 It seemed like I was on the set of the Bachelor, for there were highly advanced cameras all around and I saw various people¹ holding monitors in their hands.

6 I was a little exited about this assignment, because I have never been to a place as glorious as this.

7 They showed me the various pieces of technology by the pool. “This here is what we call the Hydroelectrical Bio-Generator of Mechanical Life, and that there in front of it is the Tetravalent Shield,” one of them said.

8 “What do they do?” I asked, but there was no answer. He walked to the inside of the house to secure the cables. I followed, and he told me what I needed to do.

9 I was starting to get worried as my faculties were piecing together what was going on. I was getting involved with creating a new type of life–a machine like life.

10 “Press on, we must press on: Start the Birthing Initiation process,” another one said.

11 Right then and there I knew I was doomed, but I dutifully did my assignment.

12 They explained that nothing bad was going to happen, and reassured me that this technology was safe, and that the new species was not capable of violence. For they designed it that way.

13 Moments later… the pool filled with electricity and the lightning flashed about. I was watching from inside and saw something being formed. It was ugly and it had no head, or feet for that matter. Wires were all around and it got out of the pool soaking wet. It moved a little, got up, and gave birth to more just like it.

14 It was terrifying, and right then I knew that my intelligence was far inferior.

15 “It won’t last,” I told myself, “It won’t last!”

16 These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

1. All of which who looked like incompetent douche-bag producers that, for whatever reason, wore the same style of clothing and talked about the same stupid TV mumbo-jumbo over and over again. [↩]

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream that probably occurred sometime this morning where the Son of James encounters the Whore! of his past, and things were pretty floppy.

…

Brief Introduction

1 It seems as though the Anti-Callipygous Whore! has manifested herself yet again in my dreams. This dream wasn’t as disturbing as the first one,¹ but it still bothered me some. Therefore, I shall reveal unto you the contents:

…

The Kitchen

3 Looking out the window of a kitchen designed in the 40s I see a reflection of someone I would rather forget. I turned around to face the discomfort and I saw the one and only Anti-Callipygous Whore!

4 She stood tall, as though she had just awakened, for it was in the morning and the sun was creeping in, ever so slightly. She was wearing a loose shirt and pajama bottoms, and I noticed she had aged quite a bit.

5 I didn’t say anything, because I was in my Sacred Vestments.² But, however, I did notice one drastic change in the Whore’s! appearance.

6 Her mammaries were that of a 60 year-old, low drooping just above the mons. My expression was that of amusement and I giggled a little inside.

7 I walked over to her and I tried to push her right one back into place, but it just drooped back down. I told her, “Boy! You’ve changed. How’s the Bearded Elephant Trunk?”

8 She said nothing…

9 The morning dissipated and now I wasn’t sure of the time. I was still in the kitchen, but with myself only. I felt remorse for what I had just witnessed.

10 Out the window, at a distance I saw a light. It was bright and it was coming toward me. I didn’t know what to make of it, so I turned around and let it do what it was going to do.

11 It came to the window and lit up the whole kitchen. A voice came unto me saying, “Listen, do not feel such things. This happens for a reason, age is a very powerful destroyer and it’ll destroy us all.”

12 I fell to my knees and I repeated a chant. “Take me home to my waking life! Take me home to my waking life!”

13 And here I am, telling you, my faithful followers, what had happened.

14 These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

1. http://www.pentameonus.com/phantasmagorium-the-return-of-the-anti-callipygous-whore/ [↩]
2. When one is wearing the Sacred Vestments they should not talk. This is to show respect to Willard and to remember that you must be silent before you go to sleep. [↩]

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

For those who do not know, this is where the prophet writes down his prophetic dreams. Last night he dreamed many a dream, of which he only remembers glimpses of multiple dreams. Therefore, he shall utilize his synoptic  powers, and write for you. 

…

Darkness Kissed The Presence of a Rolled Lipstick

1 Many dreams presented themselves unto me, but I only have but a recollection of each. I will do my best to accurately describe each dream in a sequential manner.  And I quote:

2 Darkness was upon us. We were in the middle of nowhere, and the crushing sounds of solitude were crashing against the wooden bow. There were no pirates in sight, or even aliens; all we had was each other. Among us were the best of the best. We had the team of valor, and nothing could stop us.

3 Parts were giving way and we were terrified. The swell bounced us around and around. Dampness crept in the cracks of our bodies and we all trembled with frigidness. The stars in the sky couldn’t even comfort us. We were doomed…

4 Prayers formed in the sight of unison as we sang, “Oh bring me out, out of this destitution. Sing, hail, and prevail…”

5 Silence then struck, pieces were disjointed and we were separated. Everything went wrong and I went under. I couldn’t feel my body as I floated down to the depths of the sea.

6 My eyes closed, my body stiffened, and I felt my spirit leave my being…

7 I awoke in a brightly lit room with a strange woman. We were doing things not appropriate unto the sight of God, and we were doing it for a period of time that seemed like an eternity.

8 She, at one point, started doing strange things with her mouth that sent the captain southbound. I encouraged her to do what she was doing before, but she wouldn’t listen.

9 I said, “Is this what death is? Please, you must go through the remedial courses. You seemed to be experienced, but at the time of progress your mind must have been fogged with alcohol. This is OK, but see to it that you stop drinking and get to thinking about what you’re seeking.”

10 She disappeared, shocked stood the captain, for I was alone in the room. Thoughts of a grocery store entered my noodle, and I was on a bicycle.

11 Practicing I was, and 360 was the name of the drill. Over and over I kept hitting them perfectly.

12 Then, three witches came unto me with brooms of gold. They said, “The Son of James has a question for you.” I didn’t know what they meant, and I apparently hit on one of them.

13 They said, “Don’t do that, you need to go, far away from here.”

14 “But, I’ve been landing my 360s!” I said.

15 …

16 These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream where the prophet was situated at a subway station, met a new acquaintance, and heard the words of the Son of James by way of speaker phone.

…

A Station Named Union

1 I had a curious vision of the night.

2 I was downtown at a station unfamiliar to me. It was very crowded. As I walked through the throng I met a nice young lady who presented herself as a documentarian. She was on her way to Georgia to document the working conditions of the Wal-Mart factories.

3 The subway came and received us. We sat next to each other, but we didn’t converse much. I noticed her cell phone was sitting on her lap. It was set on speaker phone and a deep crackle of a voice spoke, and said unto me:

4 “Why hast thou procrastinated in thy bidding? You fool! Hearken unto me, take heed, and be vigilant; your future holds great promise. Thou shalt take thine steps carefully in order to fulfill this path of promise.”

5 I heard this and my face stood curious.

6 It sounded like the voice of the Son of James–but I wasn’t sure. I asked if anyone heard, but no one did.

7 The subway–which now seemed more like a roller coaster–started to speed up. It was hitting huge blue trash receptacles that were on the tracks. Then, out of nowhere, a steep drop tweaked my neck and chumbled my stomach, and we stopped–violently.

8 I felt a sudden urge to pee and I got out to find the nearest restroom.

9 The restroom I found was old and dingy. I walked in, and the Son of James stood before me. He wouldn’t move. So I found a stall for some privacy, but he was insistent on watching me urinate.

10 I didn’t know what to do. I felt the pain build up in my bladder, and then…

11 I woke up.

12 These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream where the prophet was outside and saw four street-toughs behind him, and to his surprise, he found himself filled with all kinds of prophetic indignation. Who were these people and what did they do to kindle the anger of our prophet?

…

Four We Adore

1 A dream came unto me in the middle of the night. A dream reeking of indignation.

2 It was cold and dark. A friend was with me driving to an unknown destination. We talked on and on about the state of our country and how we had no control of the imminent chaos. We came to zero conclusions and decided to stop for a quick restroom ‘brake.’

3 Outside, the car was distilled with meeking contempt for diminution; for air polluted, sang soot to ‘hour’ internal lung delude. This being, and with the thoughts of the ashes of broken air conditioners, I sang a song of frustration.

4 We couldn’t breathe, and my friend was turning kreded,¹ and our lives were dramatically changing ‘write’ before our eyes.

5 We had forgotten, and buildup was painstaking. Why? For ‘know’ one knew, and co-ambulation ensued.

6 Brain-images flashing violent consciousness startled me. Confused and disillusioned, four intimidating street-toughs approached our four-legged ambulation. A celestial significance relegated to the foreman-ground and a spirit filled upon me.

7 I stayed calm, but my friend’s face was collapsed with fear. I said, “Stay calm, this is only a test.”

8 We hear silence, then a tone, a tone of broadband dysfunction–subtle, but annoying. Shouting starts, and kindled anger in my bosom retaliates,”I will not go home, for I am home!”

9 The street-toughs, now not so significant, supported what I had said, and one replied, “Life alone brings solitude and solitude alone is life. Bringing thoughts is like thoughts being brought to you. Green once was purple and purple slew a few. Now see, I have changed an ‘height’ bulb in this wisdom we call center. Shewn unto me by a prophet named–”

10 From then, I passed out. I entered Inner Lightness and saw things of indescribable proportion. I was alone, and I felt comfort. Willard’s presence touched upon the walls of this comforted solitude, and I began to weep. Slowly but surely, I was progressing.

11 Then I awoke with a confused stare, and felt I had to write this for you, my faithful amid the Celestialnet.

12 These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

1. A color I can’t describe. [↩]

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream-fragment where the prophet saw, in black and white, a vision of letters and numbers. The meaning of these letters and numbers were dubious, therefore the prophet searched his bible for answers.

…

Awakening

1 I awoke this morning around 9:30 o’clock in the a.m. and had a lingering sight of a what appeared to be a scripture.

2 It read as follows: Galatians 18:24.

…

Confusion

3 It didn’t make much sense to me seeing that the epistle to the Galatians only has 6 chapters.

4 Therefore, I got on my hands and knees and prayed for answers…

5 And a vision came unto me:

…

A Glorious Man

6 A man, who called himself the Son of James, appeared before me. His countenance was that of a wise elderly man whose discerning eyes saw my need of understanding.

7 He looked at me while I was on the ground and laughed. He said unto me, “You fool! Don’t you understand the significance of this fragment?”

8 I said unto him simply and plainly, “No sire, I do not.”

9 Out of his white pocket, he pulled out a ball of curious workmanship, and I stood fixated on its gloriousness. It had all the answers to what I was looking for.

10 It told me that Galatians was a much larger letter than what the bible presents. And that the contents are astounding.

11 I asked the Son of James what this meant and he told me, “This means, that the letter to the Galatians was hewn down and defiled by scribes of the latter days. Its contents were not about a man named Christ Jesus, but of another man who is to come to a far distant place.”

…

Realization

12 Then it hit me, Willard!

13 Galatians is really about Willard and his ministry in the Americas, and how he taught by way of sleep about the importance of Parasomnitick Worship.

14 Then, the Son of James ascended with a smile on his face that could melt the hearts of many.

15 And I stood in awe.

16 These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

DREAMS FROM THE MIND OF MATTHEW JAMES

PHANTASMAGORIUM

A DREAM WRITTEN BY HIS OWN HAND UPON WORDPRESS

This is an account of a dream that only lasted for about three seconds. It features the Bespectacled Beast/Presbyopic Swine who at one point in time really kindled the anger of the prophet, which lead to many panged nights. This dream was dreamt on the night of December 2, 2008.

…

Brief Introduction

1 For it has been awhile since I’ve even thought of this beast, but it has manifested itself upon my sleep-consciousness in a very strange way, and I am very troubled by it.

2 During this vision of the night I believe I tossed and turned. Even though it only lasted three seconds, it felt a lot longer then it really was. Therefore, I shall explain the contents of this manifestation:

…

The Hallway

3 I was standing in a familiar hallway, that of historical familial origins, and I was looking into this bedroom. It looked like a room designed by a humanoid of female descent–pink and flowery.

4 There was a dresser with a huge mirror to the right of my view, and looking in that mirror was the horror I once called the Presbyopic Swine. It stood tall in the nude with its beady eyes wondering. I felt that it was looking everywhere but at me.

5 Its pasty white body was very prominent, and it shocked me into a deep state of horror. The whiteness thereof was covered in godawful tattoos of green and its areolas were adorned with huge brass rings–for they were much bigger than before.

6 It then appeared to be staring at me. I froze and couldn’t think of anything to do. So I looked down at its faun-like legs and all I saw was nothingness.

7 Then I woke up. And that was all that happened. It was very disturbing.

8 These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!