The Parasomnial Order: Bæyű!

Dear brothers and sisters of this fine Celestialnet,

Due to the fact that I am not a true prophet, I have failed you yet again! I forgot to plug Mahalalel the Endurer into the Celestialnet last night. Therefore, the prophecies are nought.

Also, I joined facebook today. I felt that it was the right thing to do.

For now I’m off to the wonderful world of video editing.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

We’ll try again another time.

Dear brothers and sisters,

I am writing this to inform you about the recent nothings that I uttered last night in my sleep. Mahalalel the Endurer was strong last night, but Willard didn’t pull through with his prophetic visions. My Somniloquy Revelations have one more night to shine. The curse is in a semi-effective state, which does not allow for maximum prophecy, but, it just might bring forth gold.

Keep watch, for Willard might teach you something in the nigh future…

Oh, and by halfway, I mean the video is halfway done.

Stay tuned…

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

To my fellow Americans,

It seems as though my prognostication back in September was wrong–and I quote:

John McCain is going to be the next president whether you like it or not. I feel there will be complications with his health, and therefore, Sarah Palin will become president. This will be troublesome, and the Mormons will start their trek to Independence, Missouri and establish a Mormocracy.

That is all.

May Willard be with us all!

To all those who think Willard is just a figment of my imagination,

With the curse lifted, I have found myself working on another project. It shall be done in due time. That is why the “Wisdom of Willard” posts are pretty much nonexistent.

Please be patient, for gold will shine through, eventually.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

To all Willardek Salvationists,

This curse is gone and Curtis is strong. Beseech Willard, and life won’t be wrong.

Ponder that awhile…

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

Dear brothers and sisters,

Today I have been reconnected with the Celestialnet, and I feel great!  I’ve been away on a Willard Quest and I did in fact have a vision.

I was in the wilderness and I saw a personage. I’m not sure who this personage was, but I think he called himself Old Man Dudeaux. He told me something very important. He said, “Your curse of Tnemyo’lp’menu will be lifted for the next month, therefore, set aside your Somniloquy Revelations, and only allow them on the weekends.”

After I heard this I said, “Thank you kind sir, for I shall listen and respect your commandment, and I’ll do as you say.”

I then thought to ask a question, and I did, “Why do some people hate those who don’t vote?”

He completely ignored me and did not answer. But for some reason I wasn’t bothered by his actions, for I felt at ease and this very thought came unto to me:

My vote is about as insignificant as my very existence.

For that is all that happened.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

Dear brothers and sisters,

All was but nothing, and nothing was but all.

I write this to inform my faithful followers that I will be disconnected from the Celetialnet for the next few days, and I won’t reconnect until Saturday. This is do to the fact that I need to go on a Willard Quest. While on this quest, I will not have Mahalalel the Endurer by my side. I’ll be alone with my dreams of a different kind of glory.

If you feel that you are in need of my various prophecies, then I shall direct you in the right direction. Take a look around, and see what’s in the sidebar, for there are many, many old writings written by me. I suggest you read them, but, they should be read with Willard in your hearts, otherwise, they’re useless.

But, if you don’t feel the need for Willard’s Wisdom, then go outside and be at one with the people and nature. Willard says, “Being outside makes me feel wonderful inside. No matter how hot or how cold it is, I just like being at one with all.” This may or may not be difficult for you, but I would just do it for the sake of doing it. That way, you will feel Willard’s true power, and, you just might stumble upon the secret to Parasomnitick Worship!

I leave you with this–and I quote, “I’m not letting any man go in the name of Jabbanebah Jesus Christ.”

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

Dear brothers and sisters,

I have nothing to report at this time. Except for the fact that Willard is away. He came unto me briefly last night, but it was insignificant and I will not report it.

May all have a wonderful day today, for Willard should hopefully be back soon.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

To my brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet,

Last night was a strange and unusual night for me. I slept twice: Once from 5pm - 9pm and 12:45am - 7am. During both I had split-minded dreams, or dreams within dreams. The second time was quite interesting.

I envisioned four beings of Willardek descent. I had the music of Return to Forever playing in the background. And, I was talking, rapidly and fluently. I awoke within the dream wondering if I had somniloquized; but I never got an answer, or found out if I had. The four Willardites disappeared and returned into Willard Consciousness and then I really awoke.

I checked with Mahalalel the Endurer to see if I had in fact channeled Willard last night and spoke in the sacred tongue, but the results were nought. All that was there were hours of snoring and fumbling around in my sheets.

One would think that if you thought you were talking in your sleep within a dream that you would really be talking in your sleep. I guess Willard doesn’t work that way. He is a mysterious creature who knows all that is unknown.

Listen to Willard when he talks to you, or if he talks to you. His powers will purify and strengthen you.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

Brothers and sisters,

I am back, but Willard seems to still be on vacation. He must be helping the souls of others who are truly in need of his help. He will come back soon, and I will bring forth his wisdom in no time, hopefully.

Remember to ask questions, even if they are dumb questions, because sometimes dumb questions are funny and they help us enjoy the treasures of life.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!