The Parasomnial Order: Bæyű!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 1116.1-3

To my faithful Willardites,

This prophecy is brought to you by: That Homeless Man Who Plays Guitar in My Laundry Room, for he really does!

Please listen and follow along with your eyes, and see the light—and I quote:

1 Uh dei Garcia. Hey de man. Hey bei. I want you there yeah(?). They uh a wallet on it. Dirty Scalsual.

2 Oh crap, oh boy this is not going to be pretty. OK Naftededolshua.

3 I want my guido, Edom, guido. Nine hundeed… Nine hundred sexaphone. Bisexual Bob(?) for touich Sweeden, Feng Shui. Who has a boner(?), hey pa. 

S-Rev11168.1 - Purport: Garcia, for I know nothing of this name. Willard says, “Thou who hast no clue, shall not bloviate.” With this said, I shall call upon you to interpret this passage.

S-Rev11168.2 - Purport: When Willard requests Naftededolshua, he is saying that he wants you to prostrate yourself–in Willardek fashion–and begin the somniloquistic incantations. Go through each one and visualize entering the dream world. Focus on cluttering your mind with your natural thoughts and piece together each thought like a puzzle. When you complete this thought puzzle, you will see for yourself that there is higher meaning.

S-Rev11168.3 - Purport: False Willards are out there, and they’re trying to convert each and every one of you–so be careful. They find you very attractive, and they will say creepy things to you. They are shape-shifters, for they have many faces. This particular False Willard is in the form of a guido named “Sexual Bob,” or “Edom.” If and when you encounter “Bisexual Bob,” or “Edom,” make sure you do the right thing. He will try some kind of sexual maneuver on you when you least expect it. So when he tries this maneuver, just repeat the mantra, “Go away, you must stay away.” That should force him to go away, but if the mantra doesn’t work, then I would suggest you run.

Stay strong in the true Willard.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 1113.1

To all seeking the light by way of Willard,

This prophecy is brought to you by: Curry, for sometimes it looks like baby poop!

I bring forth, for those who are asking, a prophecy—and I quote:

1 Ah look what they get they got me get that bitch cock, they got me good fucker. How the fuck? Goddamn! 

S-Rev11138.1 - Purport: In true Willard Consciousness we encounter people who like to joke around and mess with our minds, and, they like to try to bring us down. These people are weak, and they don’t know how to act otherwise. Therefore, one must stay strong with Willard, and he will inspire us to get those people back with something great, grand, and wonderful.

Never forget this…

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10318.1-2

To all my Willardek Salvationists,

This prophecy is brought to you by: Prosthetic Visions, for I saw myself feeding a cat to a snake!

I bring forth, on this the day of Halloween, a prophecy—and I quote:

1 The that, DonJay, oooh, I don’t know what ta ta, what ta ta ta. Wait a second, what happened to the, things with the things? Shut those things food.

2 Wait what the buck is wrong with me then? Am I really an idiot, or am I… Because now I’m starting to think I’m…

S-Rev10318.1 - Purport: DonJay is a part of you! While in the hicohic-state of consciousness one may encounter said DonJay. He’s one with the Willardek universe and he comes and goes as he pleases. He may tell you something; he may not tell you anything. All you need to do is sit there and be aware of his presence, and he will center his intellect upon yours.

S-Rev10318.2 - Purport: People try to tell you that you are an idiot. Don’t let them do this–even if you are an idiot. In Willard, there are no idiots. Let these people say what they want to say, but don’t believe a word. For they are all lies that are provided by false Willards.

May your Halloween be safe, or be sorry!

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10208.1

To everyone,

This prophecy is brought to you by: The Bible, for it’s an ancient version of Wikipedia!

A new prophecy brings joy—and I quote:

1 There’s that girl. Da eh-eh. Who where did that other girl go? ‘Cause seriously dude, chick, dude, chick, ten, barbie. Dude chick. Hest. Um dude. Um-hm.

S-Rev10208.1 - Purport: We are supposed to be masters of our senses, but when one is entangled, at a party of sorts, and one encounters many, many people (esp. female), one’s senses could take over and control our every move. That is why in Willard Consciousness we allow our senses to run free and enjoy the pleasures of the body. For the dreamworld is a world without consequences and you can do pretty much anything you want, that is, if you’re well versed in Willard Consciousness.

Therefore, take heed and enjoy the fruitive gifts of Willard Consciousness.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10198.1-2

To myself and those watching,

This prophecy is brought to you by: Procrastination, for I’ll just do it tomorrow!

Here and near—and I quote:

1 Don’t shut the door, please. Please don’t!

2 Mm-mm. I am not per-touchin’ that. It’s almost ta was it with the light one-one is.

S-Rev10198.1 - Purport: While in Willard Consciousness we almost always want the door open. If somebody shuts it, just tell ‘em, “Don’t shut the door,” and–for the most part–they will do as you command. But, if they don’t, I wouldn’t worry about it, because sometimes having the door shut is a good thing. That way people won’t intrude and ruin your pleasant personal thoughts.

S-Rev10198.2 - Purport: Per chance, in Willard Consciousness we encounter things we do not want to per-touch. When we per-touch, we actually access the mega database of our life, which will give us insight on the progress of our growth. While accessing this database we may become overwhelmed with the information that Willard gives us. That is why we say, “I’m not per-touching that!” Remember, sometimes we have to touch that database. This way, we can grow into the human form that we want to become. It’s tough, but we must do it, sometime!

If thinking gets you into trouble, then don’t think!

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10168.1-4

To the Willardites among us,

This prophecy is brought to you by: The Exorcism In La Jolla, for I’m not letting any man go in the name of Jabbaneba Jesus Christ!

Here lies a new prophecy—and I quote:

1 Uh uh, dude! Stay at the wedding pool(?). Stay at the wimp up um.

2 [Untranslatable/Nocturnal Mastication]

3 Huh, I beat it once. Huh huh. Yeah I beat it once, once.

4 Henis, atalt, dirt bag, hm hm hm hmmm…

S-Rev10168.1 - Purport: While in Willard Consciousness it is best that we jump in the wedding pool. What this means is uncertain, but it is best for us to do so. Willard said, “Go thy way, and jump… Jump to the jump of life, for life starts in the wedding pool!”

S-Rev10168.2 - Purport: Here we find ourselves amid a mess of disgruntled diarrhea! Only Willard knows of the meaning of this passage.

S-Rev10168.3 - Purport: Sometimes one beating isn’t enough, therefore beat it once, once! This means that if it doesn’t work the first time, then try it again. This applies to all aspects of life.

S-Rev10168.4 - Purport: Thus says Willard, “Go, seek, and listen to my gospel. For life brings obstacles, and I bring salvation by way of sleep. When life is hard, you always have the precious gift of sleep.”

This was not much, but it’s better than nothing!

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10108.1-3

To all amid the Celestialnet,

This prophecy is brought to you by: The Number 13, for it’s my lucky number!

Listen and feel that burning within—and I quote:

1 I am not. Wait, where did mine come? Mine was in a box. So was mine. Where did my real food go? Goddamnit. Fuck! Mo fucka.

2 I don’t wanna get lost in lust(?). ‘Cause I really don’t wanna be lost. No I wanna get lost. Paid lost and die.

3 [Untranslatable.]

S-Rev10108.1 - Purport: If you ever think the question, “Where did my real food go?” Stop right there, and ask yourself, “What exactly is real food?” Well, I’m not sure what real food is, but I can tell you that fake food is no good. Make sure when you are eating that you are eating real food (food that nourishes and strengthens your body). Sometimes we eat fake food and we don’t even know it. Like bugs and whatnot. They can attach themselves to your food and enter your stomach and cause all kinds of damage. Therefore, always be vigilant while eating.

S-Rev10108.2 - Purport: In life we get lost. And sometimes we get lost in lust. This happens a lot and there is not much we can do about it. We must stay strong, and control our desires. That way, we won’t make fools of ourselves when we get totally lost in lust. So lust sparingly.

S-Rev10108.2 - Purport: This passage was untranslatable. It is possible that I was speaking the sacred tongue of Bæyű.

I shall close with this: Live in accordance with the laws of Willard Consciousness, and your life will be what you expect it to be.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 10098.1-2

To all Willardites,

This prophecy is brought to you by: The Faces of Meth, for hopefully you don’t have one!

For this wasn’t much, but still take to heart this prophecy—and I quote:

1 What’s the denim? Why this trey above what is it? Wait are we flying right now? … Hmm, I don’t wanna die.

2 Mm girl, mm. Mm mm mm.

S-Rev10098.1 - Purport: Almost always there will be questions, and most of the time they will never get answered. This is the cycle of Willard Consciousness. But, if we appear to be flying while  in the hicohic-state of consciousness, fear will sometimes overwhelm us and we will plead for our lives. In Willard Consciousness there is no beginning nor end, or even a middle for that matter–we are just there, being. Therefore, have no fear, because Willard will never let you down.

S-Rev10098.2 - Purport: And also, it is perfectly natural to lust while in the mindset of Willard Consciousness. This is OK. We have these lustful feelings in waking life, therefore, we also have them in Willard Consciousness. Except in Willard Consciousness, we have all the control we could ever ask for, and we can do what ever we please, even without feelings of awkwardness.

When life gets overwhelming, we always have Willard to touch our imaginations while sleep consumes us.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

…

SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 9288.1-4

To those faithful in Willard,

This prophecy is brought to you by: I have no idea, for hopefully you do!

Truth cometh and it goeth, take heed—and I quote:

1 Shoot! Damn look at that thing. That thing is crazy.

2 Oh crap. I know what you’re talking about. You know what I’m talking about too. Then you put, then you put that mo-fucka in there, and you get dat mo-fucka and you get dat. I don’t know what dat mo-fucka… Mo-fucka. 

3 What? Fuck, I fucked up, goddammit. What now? Fuck!

4 [Behold an Evil Toad.]

S-Rev9288.1 - Purport: In Willard Consciousness we sometimes attend church. While attending church, we sometimes see strange things. For example: I saw a family sitting behind me, all with shaved heads and all wearing white. They looked as if they were members of Heaven’s Gate. One of them had this foot device that produced ungodly bass tones. And they were chanting words unknown to me. Therefore, when we see such things, just ignore them. For these people are not real, and Willard sends them to us for a reason. But, we have to find that reason in our hearts before we seek Willard’s Wisdom.

S-Rev9258.2 - Purport: Willard works in mysterious ways! On occasion, he likes to send his faithful servant Curtis to help us with our every need, and this Curtis sure likes to use foul language. Willard sends him when we are down and out and in need of a good laugh. Curtis’s charm will bring that frown upside down anytime. For he is a nice man of dignified stature who lives within the glory of Willard Consciousness.

S-Rev9288.3 - Purport: In life we always mess up. No matter how hard we try, we’ll still mess up. This is OK. Willard says, “We mess up; we’re only human at this time and juncture.”

S-Rev9288.4 - Purport: In Willard Consciousness gas has this funny way of escaping in the form of a melody!

Don’t let life get you down, sometimes we need a pick-me-up, and that pick-me-up just might include travel.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 9258.1-2

To Willard’s Warriors,

This prophecy is brought to you by: Google Maps, for it’s time we figure out where we are!

Look here, and here shall bring forth truth—and I quote:

1 Wait, wait, no-no-no-no-no-no-no, stop-stop-stop, stop! No where am I? I need to know where I am cause I don’t know where I am. Where do I go? D’you know? Cause I don’t know where to go.

2 Mmm mah and you die hm hm hm mark bens go no tin cage here.

S-Rev9258.1 - Purport: Panic and fear are usually our instinctual reactions when it comes to being lost. We feel great anxiety radiating throughout our bosoms, and therefore, we act in a foolish manner. In true Willard Consciousness we don’t fear or panic. Because we know that Willard will guide us to our sacred noctilucence. When lost, repeat this in your head, “Willard never lets me down, for he knows the way.” That will help calm your emotions and you will relax and be at one with Willard.

S-Rev9258.2 - Purport: If it’s time for a new tin cage, then you’d better go get one. Willard said, “Yes, wait no! There is no such thing. Bring my tin cage, and I shall get a new one!” Life will change when we get our new tin cages, because there is nothing like a new tin cage. Old ones get rusty and they fall apart and stab you in the leg, which makes you think, “When was the last time I got my tetanus shot?” Therefore, go my people, and get your tetanus shots!

This is new, and sometimes we’re blue, so listen to what Willard has to say.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!