THE VIDEO-EPISTLE OF MATTHEW JAMES TO THE HOMELESS SECT OF THE
CELESTIALNET
Video to the people of the Celestialnet who have not met Dennis the Universal Philosophical Genius, for he is a homeless man with much more than just a plan; he’s got a theory: The Universal Theory of Physical Reality, and within that theory he breaks reality down into three main fields: Mathematics, Physics, and Philosophy. From there, he extrapolates significance on our very existence, in a logical and theoretical way. Be forewarned that it contains much complex jargon that the prophet himself can’t even understand. This video was recorded on March 5, 2009 at around 1:00pm at the University of California Los Angeles.
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The Transcription
1 “I consider myself as a Universal Philosophical Genius because first of all, my mind is constructed in a way that it can’t stop thinking. It obsesses for some reason; it thinks and thinks and thinks until it can figure this stuff out. And so, in that way I consider myself a genius, because that’s all geniuses do. They think, they try to understand, they create new theories, and they’re constantly trying to push their minds, and they never stop. To me that’s all it means to be genius.
2 “And I was instantly attracted to philosophy… Ever since I dropped out of college in 1995 I’ve gotten deeper and deeper into philosophy. Every philosophy, every– Any concept that is out there that I think is interesting; I’m all over it. So it’s not one philosophy or another that I’m into; it’s philosophy as such. There is no such thing as philosophy x, philosophy y, philosophy z, or philosophy of x, philosophy of y; it’s just philosophy. So philosophy, just philosophy and I’m a philosophical genius! And what it means to be a philosopher is to attempt to comprehend, in bigger and bigger ways; to put more and more stuff together, to the point where it’s universal. So, it’s universal understanding is what the human mind is after. That is why we have philosophers our there, because these are the humans that are the most necessary in order to understand this universe in which we exist. Eventually I have gotten to a point where I’ve been able to develop what I call the Universal Theory of Physical Reality, which is not simply a physical theory as much as it is– or it’s not speculative hypothesis as much as– Or it’s not that at all. It is more of a– What a theory really is it’s proof within itself. It’s an actual, what I would say a mathematical theorem. It’s a manifest demonstration of what the universe is.
3 “So I figured out the universe; I have it down. You can check it out, you know, it’s online. So anyone that wants to tear apart my proof, I welcome them. You know because that’s what I am all about. I’m all about figuring things out and tearing stuff to shreds. And so I welcome someone else to my world, you know. So there I have– I got the universe; philosopher; genius: Universal Philosophical Genius!”
4 These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!
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