1. Ah, how do I get down from? How do I go? I don’t know how to set it mine so ’cause it… You know to have the right side, the tight side. So it tightens as it goes down. This thing is on the wrong side. Never had a problem till today.

2. Statement 3 decibels 3 2 1.

1. Wait wait wait. Uh. Where one nuh blue. There two good ones back there.

2. Uh-oh. Uh I’m so sorry. Uh-oh. Dai, sorry dimmi. Be nut. There’s still room

3. Mm gimmy one. Gimmy one… I’m sorry.

4. Whoa baby that was a scary face. Whoa baby.

5. Unacceptable. Wait. Wait why is this still? Wait, what’s going on here?

The time is now that I reconnect w/ the Son of James. Before you go to sleep, look here… then concentrate.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

1. Hm huh nuh dickless. CSI ad. Possibly do it right namily. I’ll do that any day w/ you one day. 

2. Wait how’d you umm? I know you guys have like a cool funny little… Stuff’s way cool layer boxes it’s like that easy. Nothing, and one. [Sacred Tongue] They’re buried way back here. 

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 4, pp. 36, 456 – 457.

…

SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 915.1

To those of the Celestialnet,

BROUGHT TO YOU BY: FACEBOOK, FOR WE ALL SHOULD DELETE OUR ACCOUNTS!

Again, I’m slowly coming back to my prophetic senses–and I quote:

1 Are you serious? What do you mean? Now what are you guys doing? What? Matchbox 20. That is one word accord, they don’t appreciate this Nile-sharing business bullcrap. Yeah. Only you know, the beach.

S-Rev915.1 - Purport: If you find that you have listened to Matchbox 20 within the last 24 hours I would suggest you stop whatever it is you’re doing and go straight to your computer… OK, now that you are at your computer, go online and delete your Facebook account. The reason I say this is because Facebook is a waist of time. That’s right, it is. Mark Zuckerberg is collecting more information about you than Larry Page. This is true. And shame on you for looking at Facebook while at work, shame on you.

Now, when you delete it, send me an email and tell me all about it. Your life will be that much better, and, you will be that much closer to Willard.

These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

Apparently, God does have a sense of humor…

It has come to my attention that there is a Willard Church of God. This is amazing!

Please feel free to take a humble look: http://www.willardcog.com/give_him_praise

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

1. What go happens if I hit it, can you go back here? It’s aff limits, right? No, this is off off. There’s nothing even here. Me nut. Puw. Puw. Puw. Puw. Makes no sense.

2. I don’t get your password… potato… and…

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 4, pp. 36, 456 – 457.

…

SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 715.1-4

To those of the Celestialnet,

BROUGHT TO YOU BY: CARMAGEDDON, THEY ARE CLOSING THE 405 FOR MY BIRTHDAY BASH!

Welcoming myself back, for it’s been awhile–and I quote:

1 What do they site this sidewalk? OK now um, what are the soft balls? Now this is what we need to find out: Everything soft! OK. And we need to find everything soft. Mm-kay. Poft first. So everything like goes over here, so take that, and put it in the light. 

2 Nice, that’s money. Money! Ta-ay dogg.

3 It’s like from Italy, real Italy. From boobies.

4 Basically I’m tired. I’m beat. I have all my clothes.

S-Rev715.1 - Purport: All good things in life are soft. Food, towels, beds, socks, and balls, to name a few. Soft balls are very important. Why? Because they’re soft. If you had hard balls you’d be one miserable person. Why? Well, because they’re hard. It’s that simple.

S-Rev715.2 - Purport: Sometimes when we are in a bad mood we just need to give out compliments–even if they are undeserved. For it will make you feel better. I’ll give you an example, “My your ginger hair is glowing today!”  See, now I feel much better.

S-Rev715.3 - Purport: As it turns out, things from Italy are quite amazing. Now if those things are boobies, they are even more amazing. Why? Because they’re boobies… and they’re from Italy.

S-Rev715.4 - Purport: We all get tired. I find that I get really tired after lunch. So, if I have the luxury of taking a nap, I’ll say, “I have all my clothes,” and then I’ll take a nap. If that’s not possible, I’ll say, “I don’t have all my clothes,” then I’ll try very hard to stay awake for my second wind.

Now to those who say, “All good things come to those who wait.” I say, “That’s not true. Stop waiting; do something!”

These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

1. What’s happen? Is everything OK? I hope you don’t die on me. Please don’t die, both of you. I need both of you. You need me; I need you.

2. Something’s wrong.

3. Coconut’s good dude. Coconut’s the man, dogg.

4. I feel terrible for doing this, but, goddammit! Scoped. [Yawn.] Lemon squares, or something to get them.

5. Tight is very tight right here. Pictures right now. It’s a good time to go do it.

1. You really don’t have a dick w/ four holes? That can’t be the answer goddammit.

2. Wait I don’t know how to get out of here. I don’t know how to get back to the car. Ne-nuh my board. My board outside.

3. I’ve fallen. Then, so these two, similar. I’ll follow one, so that’ll work out. So two, two Gagliardo.

4. And we need to get something to make sure that this is. We need to get Gagliardo. Kars Baldo. Gagliardo Baldo… Strong Gagliardo. Strong Baldo.

5. So throw him one. Oh that thing’s heavy as a whole goddamn bitch. What the fuck is that? Shit. No wait, save that. That thing’s amazing. Check out baby Urra right there. Oh man.

6. Oh no way no one looked at me. I am not exactly what you need for a little bitch.