The Parasomnial Order

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 6218.1-3

Brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet,

Last night’s three-part prophecy is brought to you by: Enuresis Nocturnus, when you’re 10-100 in your sleep, you just might be bummed when you awake!

Let Willard speak unto you, and I quote:

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1 Ha, what is this? What is that? A penis. [laughter] What the freak is that?

2 [Untranslatable] I thought was this is the… the, skinny one right? On the skinny one’s the big one right?

3 Aulds snits guilt, that’s the best guilt commercial I ever seen in life… Well, you’ve seen it right Matt? Well we’re gonna watch it what again mall, keep your eyes pilled.

S-Rev6218.1 – Purport: In life, and in love, we must continually ask questions; even if they’re annoying to the person we’re asking. Sometimes we will annoy ourselves for asking so many questions. That is why one should bring humor into the mix. By throwing in the random “Penis,” it will make us laugh and forgive and forget about the annoyance factor thereof.

S-Rev6218.2 – Purport: Sometimes when you assume, you are wrong. Therefore, when you ask if you look skinny or big, don’t be shocked if the person you are asking gives you the truth. For you asked, and you shouldn’t expect an answer. Willard once said: “Expecting is not respecting; seeking is not peeking; and receiving is not believing.”

S-Rev6218.2 – Purport: Guilt Commercials are commercials designed to make you feel guilty about anything and everything you do. These commercials have been utilized by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints for the sole purpose of gaining control over the minds of young adults across the United States. They are very effective and watched on a daily basis. If and when you see one, I would suggest you pray to Willard. He will tell you if it’s true or not. If it’s true, I wouldn’t worry, because we should all feel guilty about something we’ve done in life. But, if it’s not true, then I wouldn’t worry either, because we don’t need to feel guilt if there’s no guilt to be felt.

Remember, you are one of Willard’s Warriors, so be strong in the fight for truth.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!