Mentation Report #213: Willard Once Told Me…
May 2nd, 2009 by Prophet Matthew JamesTo the faithful in Willard,
Greetings and salutations to all.
Last night was a strange night filled with snakes and babies driving cars, but ironically,1 there were no prophecies. So, now, therefore, furthermore, and moreover, I’m going to share with you what Willard instructed me to do.
And I quote:
Matthew James, you are a beautiful man with long luxurious locks. I’m sure you know this by now, but I felt telling you was the right thing to do. I’m speaking to you on behalf of the curse.2 For when the curse is lifted, I want you to give Mahalalel the Endurer a rest. For his circuits are old and brittle. The curse will be lifted sometime in the middle of May, so for now, be strong in your Somniloquy Revelations.
Nicely put, I thought. I’m sure I’m still going to be active, but I’m not going be as amazing as I once was.
Now take your hats off and pray with me.
These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!
- Not to be confused with Alanis. [↩]
- For those who do not know what the curse is, CLICK HERE! [↩]
May 2nd, 2009 at 11:36 am
I’m glad that you know you are a beautiful man with beautiful hair! How can I feel this way too? I need the confidence so I can start clubbing again. Think about that!
May 2nd, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Oh, I didn’t know you wanted to go clubbing again. Willard knows best, kind of like Brooke Hogan, he’ll tell you that beauty is on the inside, and it’s about how you feel about yourself. I would suggest that you go clubbing tonight.