The Parasomnial Order: Bæyű!

Dear brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet,

Today I was planning on posting an old Somniloquy Revelation, but my plans have now changed. Last night I had a four-part prophecy, and one them related to the Von Dinner ritual.

So that you may have an understanding I have provided the audio tablet from last night:

1. Ew gross! Oh It’s really corn-red.

2. We could have sex with the titties. I doubt gotta get tre…

3. That food stinks. That’s some disgusting fucking At-roast. What the fuck man?

4. What happened? Aye what happened? So they’re doing it huh? Oh, they’re doing it all night long.

These prophecies happened at different times of the night and I have separated them by number. Prophecies 1 and 3 seem to be related to the Von Dinner revelation, and prophecies 2 and 4 seem to be related to sexual intercourse.

Willard spoke unto me in a fragmented tongue, what does this mean?

Well, it means that Willard works in mysterious ways. He wants to challenge me everyday, which is wonderful, because it keeps me interested in life and all its wonders.

PR 131:1, 3 – Interpretation: When you have your Von Dinners at night, don’t eat them in the bathroom. Choose another place like in a tree or in a basement, or something of that nature. And remember, Willard will be with you when you partake.

PR 131:2, 4 – Interpretation: Don’t have sex without protection, for it’s unsafe. There are many diseases out there and Willard doesn’t want your privates to be left with any forms of memorabilia. If you’re caught in a situation where you don’t have any prophylactics; there’s always mammary copulation.

So be wise, and make the right choice.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!