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Progress Report #153: But All Were Whispers!

Dear brothers and sisters,

All was but nothing, and nothing was but all.

I write this to inform my faithful followers that I will be disconnected from the Celetialnet for the next few days, and I won’t reconnect until Saturday. This is do to the fact that I need to go on a Willard Quest. While on this quest, I will not have Mahalalel the Endurer by my side. I’ll be alone with my dreams of a different kind of glory.

If you feel that you are in need of my various prophecies, then I shall direct you in the right direction. Take a look around, and see what’s in the sidebar, for there are many, many old writings written by me. I suggest you read them, but, they should be read with Willard in your hearts, otherwise, they’re useless.

But, if you don’t feel the need for Willard’s Wisdom, then go outside and be at one with the people and nature. Willard says, “Being outside makes me feel wonderful inside. No matter how hot or how cold it is, I just like being at one with all.” This may or may not be difficult for you, but I would just do it for the sake of doing it. That way, you will feel Willard’s true power, and, you just might stumble upon the secret to Parasomnitick Worship!

I leave you with this–and I quote, “I’m not letting any man go in the name of Jabbanebah Jesus Christ.”

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!

3 Comments

  1. I said my name! wrote:

    What do you do if you are allergic to the outside?

    Wednesday, October 22, 2008 at 11:18 am | Permalink
  2. Prophet Matthew James wrote:

    I don’t know, I’m not a doctor. I would say to stay inside and drink tons of water. That way you will have to pee a thousand times in one day, and, it will cure you from constipation. Also, don’t forget to drink a lot of Diet Coke as well. That will help with the frequency of your urination, and, it might cause it to sting a little down there. That’s pretty much all I’ve got for you. Let me know if that helps.

    Sunday, October 26, 2008 at 8:57 am | Permalink
  3. I said my name! wrote:

    Thanks for your words of wisdom. As a matter of fact, I already do those things. Willard must know me very well! I said my name!!!

    Sunday, October 26, 2008 at 7:02 pm | Permalink

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