Dear brothers and sisters,
Last night was not a joy. Cramping and crumbling and tossing and turning was all I experienced. For Willard wasn’t with me at all. I awoke to find myself constipated in the bathroom with all but a pebble. And this morning, a flowing river. Why?
Let us hope my duty will be carried out in peace. For the future translations depend on it.
These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!
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