Why is this? Who would even read my material? Did a homeless person give you a flier with Matthew James’ name on it? and, did this homeless person say: “What Would Willard Do?”
Or, did you find a piece of paper in a public restroom stuck to some fecal splatter with the title: “Gentle Jabs Turn to Punches for Clinton, Obama!”?
If no, then how?
Did you read one of my old Diatribes about the Mormon Church in a Mormon Myspace group? Did you feel angry when you read it? Or did it tickle you in a way that made you want to read more about this beautiful man who once had long luxurious locks?
I sure hope so!
Or maybe not. Maybe you saw a link in Wikipedia in the Somniloquy/Sleep Talking page? And, you clicked it, and listened to a shouting-incoherent-and-sometimes-perverted-man talking in his sleep, who for whatever reason thinks it’s funny to record himself sleeping, and, feels it’s okay to post these recordings on the internet when nobody in their right mind would even take the time to listen to these incoherent babblings that Matthew James claims are prophetic visions when they are in actuality prosthetic visions.
Who are these mysterious two readers? Please show yourself to me. Give me reason to give you gold. What is your definition of gold? If I gave you gold, what would you spend it on? Would you spend it at all? Would you make toilet paper out of it?
Did you know that Matthew James is the true prophet of the Parasomnial Order? Does anyone have any idea what Parasomnial even means? Do you think the prophet even knows? If I wrote 100 more questions, would you read them?
I don’t think you would. Therefore, I shall stop. Let my people come forth and help me help you spread the truth about the Book of Willard.
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