Dear brothers and sisters,
The Prophet has gone to his think tank in Mylon Cleptal, yet again. He is not coming out until he finishes what he has started. Many of you might be wondering what he has started. I’ll tell you what . . . but first I must tell you a little story about our savior Willard. He was once a man, then a prophet, now a God, and who knows what’s next? Where does Willard go from there? Can he go up from God? The answer is simple. But, before I tell you . . . I would like to say a little something about his wife Suri. She was a woman, and now she’s gone. Where did she go? In the sand? Or, was she turned into stone by Satan? The answer is simple . . . but I would like to tell you why I am using ellipses in a completely wrong manner.
The reason why is because of the Prophet’s new not-so-extravagant coiffure. Why would he change? He had beautiful long luxurious locks. Is there something wrong with him? Maybe, maybe not. The point I’m trying to make is that prayer works. Just try it and see its power. It’s almost like the power team. If you pray, you will be able to break bats over your thigh muscles and not feel a thing. You will be invigorated and what have you.
Now, while the Prophet’s in his think tank finishing up his paper on the City Church of Venice Beach, I want you to pray for the completion of this glorious paper entitled City Church – Where dreams Turn Into Tongues. He has been working long and hard on this project, and he needs your help for he can’t do it alone. Please, pray first for forgiveness, then ask for the enlightenment you deserve, after that tell God any secrets that you’ve been dying to tell, and then make sure you pray like you are routing for your favorite sports team; that way you know Jesus/God/Matthew James/Allah/Joseph Smith/Børge can hear you. I want fervent prayer, like the prayers at the Western Wall. For that is all I want. If you pray, you shall receiveth answers on the previous questions I brought forth and did not answer.
Thank you for you time and may the Prophet give us gold in due time.
2 Comments
When you say think tank is that code for fat camp? Think about that prophet.
I thought about it, and I don’t feel that calling the prophet fat is very Willardlike. I would like to announce publicly that I have gained weight. I think it’s a glandular problem that may or may not be able to be cured by the power of prayer. All I can do is exercise and eat right and wear my fatgirl clothes in the meantime. I feel everybody must know that I am now 205lbs. But, to answer your question about fat camp, no, it’s not code for fat camp, it’s code for ‘I Said My Name’. Think about that.
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