The Parasomnial Order: Bæyű!

My brothers and sisters of the Celestialnet,

Today is the third day of testing my new Somni-Sync Sleep CD. I didn’t talk as much as the two previous days.¹ I did however prophesy with fervency at one particular time.

Last night was weird, because I had my headphones on listening to my tones, and I couldn’t get to sleep. My allergies were kicking in and the nasal mucus started to flow. At a few points I would drift in an out of the Hicohic-State and I’d hear voices and whatnot, but my allergies distracted me from going into a full prophetic frenzy. I listened to the tones for about 30-45 minutes and then I took the headphones off.

Now, so that you may have an understanding, I shall provide the audio:

Um-a-ta-a-who maybe not.

Take-a-ahhhh take all that hold-hol-whole thing.

I don’t know how to hate, to fuckin’.

Tahwado goddammit, fuck, stupid kids man!

No, mm, mmm, no, no, that’ll do.

Huh, dinner where’d she go?

Since you’ve heard this special prophecy, I want you to pray to Willard that I, Matthew James, will bring forth some more truth unto the people of the Celestialnet.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, Thou Ascendeth!

1. I should be saying nights, but for some reason I feel it’s better to say day, therefore I am going to continue using the term day. [↩]