The Parasomnial Order: Bæyű!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 3149.1-2

This is for all and none amid the Celestialnet,

THIS PROPHECY IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY: 20 YEARS IN PRISON FOR BLASPHEMING, FOR THIS IS INSANE!

And I turn the time over to the Son of James—and I quote:

1 Are you kidding me? Blind in depth. Are you kidding me?

S-Rev3149.1 – Purport: Here the Son of James receives a revelation on the impending doom of the Great Anhedonia. When it comes to pass, all citizens of the United States will be cursed! For we will be cursed with blindness of depth perception. The world as we know it will be two dimensional and chaos shall prevail. Be careful when driving during these times, because you’ll have a hard time gauging the distances of other objects in front of you or behind you. It will almost be like driving under the influence of alcohol, but much worse. As a matter of fact, vehicles of any kind will be obsolete. We will all become homeless, and our daily lives will consist of shouting at people for the absence of our precious third dimension. It will not be fun.  For these will be terrible times, so I would suggest you pray to Pentameonus for a cleansing of noctilucence. He just might answer your prayer, and you’ll be one of the chosen ones who will be saved from this curse.

Don’t worry, the Prophet will be there.

These things I say in the name of Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!