Chapter 1
April 12th, 2008 by Prophet Matthew JamesTHE GOSPEL OF THE SON OF JAMES
Chapter One
The first collection of recorded sleep sayings from the mouth of Matthew James under the witness of Mahalalel the Endurer, February 11, 2004 to July 29, 2004.
Who is this? No no no, don’t do this, No! Hey, no no no! Hey, no don’t don’t don’t! No hand on board. No hand on foot. No hand on virgine. Two hundred. Um d’you know if it’s vega? De my dick, chupa me velga. Where’s your viaweah? Where the hell? What the fuck? Oh no, oh dude, dude, ah dude, sock. Sock.
2 I don’t like the way it sounds right there. Crap ah that’s tight. That’s tight did you see that? That was dope. Look at that butt, put your boner to it. Whoa! I hate these fuckin’ cigarette things. Goddammit, stupid shits. What? um? [Behold, the evil toad answers the question of what?]
3 How do I get out of here? Uh, oh man! I don’t wanna get stuck. I don’t, I know, ah no I no I, I, all about. [Evil toad speaketh in the sacred triadic tongue]
4 Audeorble, here did? There’s a I see titties, I see titties, I see bare titties! Hm, oh yes, oh man this is great, I really like this. Make a mix sweet thing, a mix. [Evil toad strikes again]
5 Hey, hey now, no, no, no… wait, listhen. You’re way at the, will you turn around real quick so I can see exactly. Now I know. Aye oh, I’m shot! Go back and hangout with, then I stick my wiener in her, and she go bye. [Disturbances] Oh cup, mmm.
6 What are these? What is that? It’s mine, what the hell he took my amp! What the hell? What the fuck? [Untranslated] Huh, die way way wait wait. Errrh, errrrh, what tha! Uh uh, [Guitar wall chime!] That’s great. [Toad!]
7 Yeah… hey, hey. Why, I always get this weird… Huh haha, don’t you think I should get one thing? No, no, Don’t go over there. Don’t go in the basket okay? I don’t want you in the basket, it scares me okay, doesn’t it scare you? Oh, it scares the crap of me. But if it doesn’t scare the crap out of you and it, it just threatens me. Ah hell no! [Speaking Bæyü] Oye, it doesn’t make sense. [Again, speaking Bæyü]
8 Where are they? Where’s it in the turd? Where is it in the, business? I don’t know where. My, more my yet? Those are bad I like those. Those are tight, I like the little Spencer ones. The little Spencer ones, ones, or blue ones. The black ones, the black, ones are the best. [Opened communication w/ Korihor!] That’s the first thing I’ll do.
9 Yeah who you always pipe. There always a pipe episode. Broitherfadah hey what’s all the tapes? Blburbleble tables gerbils. Tables-n-tools. It’s such a good idea!
10 Yeah, get get, the mini dick, like a boat, hook em up boat hook up to the thing and have them hook up through both of them, and have both go connect to attack it, then, have em connect to it, have em connect to, alright?
April 12th, 2008 at 12:52 pm
1.1-10 Chapter one starts off with the first Somniloquy Revelation that was ever recorded. All were recorded in the apartment across the street from the neighborhood watch in San Diego, California. 1.1 Chupa me velga, is Spanish for oral copulation. 1.2 You will hear this Evil Toad periodically throughout this gospel, for it is the sound of a flatulent named Tommy. 1.3 Documents the first time Tommy uttered the Sacred Triad. 1.4 Apparently this was the first time Matthew James saw she-breasts. 1.5 The music in the background is the music on Shawn Lane’s instructional guitar video. The gunshot sound is the sound of a car backfiring, and I’m shot was Matthew James’s response. Stick my wiener in her, is referring to a coital practice. 1.6 It was thought that someone had entered Matthew James’s apartment and took his new amp, but all was a delusion. 1.7 Most believe that Willard was the one in the basket, but up until now, no one knows. This was also the first time Matthew James spoke the language of Bæyü. 1.8 It is not known what was said when he conversed with Korihor; all we know is that he did what was commanded of him. 1.9 Broitherfadah and Blburbleble are words of the Bæyű language. 1.10 Matthew James explains in explicit detail on how to connect to the Celestialnet and communicate with Willard the Unforeseen!
April 12th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
Haha,
I picked a random one to listen to, number three.
Maybe it is just a coincidence but I pretty much always do three farts in a row when I do them asleep.
Made me laugh