Chapter 2
April 12th, 2008 by Prophet Matthew JamesTHE GOSPEL OF THE SON OF JAMES
Chapter Two
The second collection of recorded sleep sayings from the mouth of Matthew James under the witness of Mahalalel the Endurer, July 24, 2004 to February 13, 2007.
What how do you know where I am now? K see now no no now where I am ever gonna be now. Pra me me neither. He almost got the fourth bar. No it was Berney it was Barnery it wasn’t Arney. It was Barney Hard Cap’n Poocock!
2 …I don’t know if [Bæyű!?]. I don’t know if Carl has the Carl hasn’t shown her ch hit, day un set. Like in the Fance club take it vega? I freakin’ fell fall down the fan, ah my back, ah!
3 Hey, how’s it coming? Doing okay? You doing okay? Alright de chicken, alright. Huh, hm, hm… I, I, this is because this has um, this one has the th, tree, the three. This guaranteed gonna be two, de te two going to this beautiful specimen right here, and den were gonna go move on to dis sick, te-ev two ding, right about my dick, my dick come with this or something, gone worried about my dick. Ahhh…
4 Oh crap! You’re kidding me right? You are freakin kidding me! No oh I think it’s abrupt. Oh wait wait wait wait wait wait wait some mine dropped. Wait wait wait, yeah I think my some pop pump pooped up pooped up. Ah, ah, ah, saw I beat your, I didn’t know you know er beat your car I’m sorry. I sorry I beat your car I really beat more I beat it more. I just want to beat your ankle more. I beat it more. Member? Oh crap, I did? 32 member?
5 Uh huh huh, Alma? What you mean when I, who stole my bass? Who who my freak, who steals my bass? What the freak is that, faggot? He took my guitar. Oh, drive freakin 9, 10, 9 da 8 buttfags. You never to get it to freakin’ 9-8 you need with that stupid 9-10!
6 Hi, hi, oh crap! Uh uh, how? De gob um. Where did the parday, des written, in the car-un driveway. Hey what is it? It it all I really know that it. This huge one where he goes to, huge, with huge fire marshal bill. Wow! How do I get back up back up. Why guess, lot a [humming Beautiful (Darling Boy)] beautiful, beautiful, beautiful… Gross, gross, that’s gross, disgusting.
7 Wayo, huh, wuelp, no up eh stop stop st-st-stop, right there. Put it down please. Rie, Riley, please. I know you. I love you. I would love to ellup you, please. We’ve done this before remember.
8 Um, more afraid, I don’t feel very, feel good. Like trash, I diarrhea level thrower, my vagina hurts. [Disturbance] Oh, eh U…
9 Oh oh oh st-st-st-st-st… st-st-st-st-st-st… No really really stop stop stop stop stop stop, stop stop. Seriously stop you’re gonna break something, seriously. You’re gonna hit the um, seriously you’re gonna hit the electronic and then you’re gonna break the… end up doing it… good…
10 Wait what? Wait what? Wait when did you take it tip? When did you take it all off, snagle. Me nut! You took it all off the kidding me must.
April 12th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
2.1 - 2.10 Chapter two continues from where chapter one left off. 2.1 Up until now Barney Hard Cap’n Poocock was unknown, for he is a mystery, and some studies have shown that he was involved with the war somehow. 2.2 Matthew James literally jumped into his fan, tried to put it back together, went back to sleep, and talked about in his sleep. Amazing! 2.3 Right about my dick, meaning uncertain, there could have been a comment made about the size of his member, and he confirmed. 2.4 The significance of the number 32 is quite grand, for I will explain when the other chapters are done. 2.5 Alma appears before Matthew James and reports that his bass and guitar were stolen. With Matthew’s anger kindled against the Lamanites he curses them. The numbers recited are generally considered to be time signatures, except for the last one, seeing that there is no such thing as a 9/10 time signature. 2.6 There may be some evidence that Matthew James was signing while he was singing Beautiful Boy. 2.7 There are many different written accounts telling the story of Matthew James’s lover named Riley. The account that most scholars agree with is the account that Matthew James never even knew a Riley. 2.8 My vagina hurts is a mistranslation, for it was originally penis. 2.9 All electronics were safe during the recording of this audio tablet. 2.10 Prognostication of the fall of Snaglesnatch and the rise of Pentameonus.