Chapter 4
April 23rd, 2008 by Prophet Matthew JamesTHE GOSPEL OF THE SON OF JAMES
Chapter Four
The fourth collection of recorded sleep sayings from the mouth of Matthew James under the witness of Mahalalel the Endurer, May 11, 2007 to September 18, 2007.
Try not to spray, you had no water. Oh please no water, please. These are fine, these are fine. I don’t want water. I just don’t the Canadian ones, or just water ones. I don’t want the combo. No concoction with the water.
2 Wait a sec, mall! You didn’t do that, do you penis? [Untranslatable] is a lier. A really good way to lose some wind. It really is, if you ax me. I don’t know how to shtop. Ah man! Is that umm? I did, I didn’t know. I have ticks. Take chi dunkin stump. [Th]ank you. Ah boy poo-poo me self. Definitely know who the [Untranslatable]. I already know who I want. Goddamn how do you read that much? I’ll call her up for it. Ah did he just kick something? What happened? What the fhh, no way! Yeah it does.
3 Oh shoot! Four huh? That’d suck. Now each frick bru frick, ehh, frick, me nut. Mmm, hip. I really like the way it looks out at night it looks really. See it sounds like a, like an ass… What is up with this thing, goddammit. Are you kidding me? Aw, you got to be kidding me. Aw! No no. Totally, I missed the good part. I need to go do it. I didn’t see that. I gotta get but her I can’t get tossed.
4 Oh wait this is… Wait where’s mine? What’s mine? [Behold, an evil toad!] Wait, which one’s? Where’s my uh, pouch? Ah it looks dangerous, nice well uh-a. Oh, I’m stuck! Would’sit’it’it so stupid, oh goddammit, shit! Ahhhhh, double helix. Doublow.
5 Tip-a-mo-ba-what? Bart? I think they, I think they are Bart. Like, add stuff all the time now. Isn’t that what, what moving things, wait you are? So you’re Tim, right now. I don’t like how far they go. I don’t like how far and deep. I don’t like how far they go, and deep, deep, pussy. There’s no way, is there? Really bad, I’ll help him out but… I’ll be nice. There’s a fit tablet, ouch. Ah yeah… collection. I bet it’s like really good. That’s right dude I forgot about her.
6 Hey, no aye, hey don’t, Nie don’t nea plea! Seriously don’t! I don’t want Pac in here. Eh, ah-uh. Dough Kristine once more gets stuck then one goes the other way. How, um, I don’t know, I… I’m not feeling it too ac-cur-ate is the word I’m looking, um… But then this, I’m not I don’t feel good. A turd? Nah-uh? Let me see it. It’s like a eat it. Aw, don’t do em’ both!
7 What’s rodont ront? Oh yeah that’s right I always forget those stupid. I hate those dumb wannabe ones those are stupid! Why? What is this a freakin’ pry? So freakin’ retarded. Yep, take em’ off take em’ off make fun of me now. Go ahead, I am cheerio. Look how thick how stupid I am! Ha ha ha ha ha! N’ha ha ha ha ha ha!
8 I haven’t seen anythin, ah, ay, eh, what? Who is Butthead? Who is he with the other butt? He’s own butt. A feeco se ta es stay is here, we should go see it at the end of this tour, tour. What’s all bout, belion auto staut. Ah jeez look at that look at that whole thing. We should put that on T evolution T. That’s all those a tets, are you seari? It was right here Anna. Uno tutho una le shey tutho una dache. [Laughter] Hale shu to fe dora dache.
9 Oh watch out, watch your back, watch your back, watch your back! Eh eh eh this off your back, dof your back, no no no, eh eh. Street tough, huh, street tough. Oh, uh, oh what a happened? Aw dude, this is bad, this is not good. Aw fuck, big dick, fuck! Um to cool for school, um-hm. Ah I love that tune, go repeat it in you head. Have fun with it, make yourself feel good. Shedough-shadotshin. !!! Todays gonna be around cook. She’s just like waiting for the answer, wait it’s like, “Uh certain?” He’s like, “No.” It’s funny.
10 Ohhh, can I play with them too? Those are some serious dinner plates. I want dinner plates too. Get all up in that cameltoe. You have to witness it. How come? Yeah, I think gonna suck now. I’m gonna flip back and forth, I flipping back and forderth. I’m gonna switch back and for I don’t give a buck. A don that lightning, I gareentee that was f-fa test, I garantee that was a humanities test. That stamp, yeah, just lick the stamp. It’s to be turn-ed in. No it’s not him, I lied.
April 23rd, 2008 at 11:17 pm
4.1 – 4.10 Chapter 4 is the longest chapter thus far. 4.1 In the time of this recording there was a shortage of water, and Matthew James denied all water, even the Holy Water from Canada. 4.2 Lose some wind, meaning uncertain. Could possibly be some kind of technique for curing excessive flatulence. 4.3 It is uncertain what was meant by how it looked at night, it is assumed that it was dark. 4.4 Willard once prophesied that the double helix holds the secret to the mystery of life. He then elaborated on his prophecy and predicted the dangers of revealing the secret of the double helix. 4.5 Matthew James was correct, for they were all Bart, even the little deep ones. It is believed that the deeper they went, the more it became malodorous. 4.6 That night TuPac was summonsed to Matthew James’s room. It is not known what transpired that night, all we know is that he didn’t want TuPac there, and, that he didn’t want him to do them both. “Both” may have been referring to drugs. 4.7 It is not certain as to what it was that Matthew James wanted taken off. What we do know is that he was being made fun of. His sarcastic laughter is indicative of hidden despair from years of being made fun of, or it could have been indicative of suppressed guilt from his life-long career of making fun of people, or it could be a combination of both. 4.8 Are you seari?, is meant to be: are you serious? The answer to that questions was answered in the sacred tongue of Bæyű. 4.9 In San Diego, the Street Tough was a girl that lived across the street from Matthew James. She wore sweatpants and rode around on a BMX bicycle. In this passage, it appears as though she was in some sort of trouble with a possible previous boyfriend who may or may not of had a big phallus. 4.10 Get all up, is slang for sexual penetration. It is unknown if he actually penetrated that cameltoe.