The Second Vision
March 1st, 2008 by Prophet Matthew JamesTHE SECOND VISION OF MATTHEW JAMES
TEXT WRITTEN PSEUDONYMOUSLY BY THE PROPHET MATTHEW JAMES
History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 7, pp. 88, 543 – 738.
REVENANT OF LILITH
The second vision of Matthew James the Prophet, written after the fact, by his own hand upon Wordpress, December 14, 2006.
On a lonely September’s eve Matthew James was in the bathroom slouching while on the seventh round of his Sacred Secretions Masturbatory Ritual (also known as Self Abuse), where within three hours he, Matthew James had had a vision, and not just any vision, a celestial vision.
2 Minutes past the three hour mark, reluctantly on his 665th pump, eyes rolled back in rapturous delight, sweating on an already slippery toilet bowl with his legs sliding and gliding all over the place, Matthew James hath felt a fervent in his mons pubis that was oh so very strong. For he knew this was a spiritual experience he would never forget.
3 Right at the point of testicular disgorge none other than the simulacrum of Lilith the goddess of darkness appeared before him in a slingshot of bliss through his tiny vertical eye of the mighty beholder.
4 After this genie-in-a-bottle experience Matthew James felt an overwhelming calmness throughout his vivaciously attractive body.
5 In a daze, he looked Lilith eye-to-eye with delight and tried to gather his thoughts to form a sentence—but he couldn’t mumble but a sound.
6 And it came to pass that the voice of Lilith was astonishingly that of the voice of T.C., the incarnate of L. Ron. And s/he spoke in a still small voice, and said unto him:
7 I am L. Ron Hubbard’s divine messenger and I was sent from your satchel in honor of our lord to teach you in the ways of cerebral celestial communication.
8 And to teach you in the ways of Scientology, through confabulatory therapy sessions you can rid all your problems by way of Engram removal.
9 We have been watching your progress here on teegaak, and felt thou needed a helping hand.
10 For I am the lamb of L. Ron; I must extend my arm out to you for your Engrams must be cleansed before I teach you in the ways of celestial communication.
11 When Lilith spake these words of wisdom; young Matthew James took them to heart. And he was cleansed from all the Engrams that hath been haunting him. Then he asked a crucial question: How Lilith, how do I communicate with the celestial beings?
12 Behold, you must know that you already have been communicating with the celestial beings in your sleep through Somniloquy Revelation, and, I have the sacred proof recorded on a celestial compact disc hidden in the house of L. Ron’s Celebrity Center.
13 Unbeknownst to you, I have been listening to your conversations with Elohim and now want you to decipher your own conversations with him and I want you to share them with the world.
14 It is now that you must go and find the sacred audio documents hidden behind the large painting of L. Ron in the Celebrity Center. And don’t forget to say hi to Chick Corea for me.
15 Stricken with vigor, Matthew James said unto Lilith: I’ll do it!
16 Then Lilith admonished him to stop taking psychiatric drugs for they made Kurt Cobain kill himself.
17 Lilith vanished in a blink of an eye as Alvin became flaccid and joined the other wrinkled chipmunks Simon and Theodore for song and dance. Then Matthew James got up from the toilet bowl and looked himself in the mirror for he knew he had to go right then and there.
18 He got in FFR the Volkswagen death-pod and drove to Franklin Street without a care in the world. Forty minutes and forty seconds Matthew James searched for this Sacred Somniloquy Revelation Compact Disk and it was found right where Lilith had told him.
19 Now the audio lies safe in the vaults of the Somniloquy Revelation category within this sacred celestialnet we call a blog. And he, Matthew James, has mistranslated it into what is now known as the Book of Willard.
20 So go now and discover these Sacred Documents and hear for yourself that Matthew James is a true Prophet!
21 But, be forewarned that these recordings will take time to spiritually digest and they may even be disturbing at times. So listeners, listen at your own discretion and don’t forget to turn up the volume!
