The Parasomnial Order: Bæyű!

THE WISDOM OF WILLARD

DAILY WISDOM FROM OUR NOCTILUCENT LIGHT

History of the Parasomnial Order, vol. 2, pp. 56, 114 – 98.

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SOMNILOQUY REVELATION 1116.1-3

To my faithful Willardites,

This prophecy is brought to you by: That Homeless Man Who Plays Guitar in My Laundry Room, for he really does!

Please listen and follow along with your eyes, and see the light—and I quote:

1 Uh dei Garcia. Hey de man. Hey bei. I want you there yeah(?). They uh a wallet on it. Dirty Scalsual.

2 Oh crap, oh boy this is not going to be pretty. OK Naftededolshua.

3 I want my guido, Edom, guido. Nine hundeed… Nine hundred sexaphone. Bisexual Bob(?) for touich Sweeden, Feng Shui. Who has a boner(?), hey pa. 

S-Rev11168.1 - Purport: Garcia, for I know nothing of this name. Willard says, “Thou who hast no clue, shall not bloviate.” With this said, I shall call upon you to interpret this passage.

S-Rev11168.2 - Purport: When Willard requests Naftededolshua, he is saying that he wants you to prostrate yourself–in Willardek fashion–and begin the somniloquistic incantations. Go through each one and visualize entering the dream world. Focus on cluttering your mind with your natural thoughts and piece together each thought like a puzzle. When you complete this thought puzzle, you will see for yourself that there is higher meaning.

S-Rev11168.3 - Purport: False Willards are out there, and they’re trying to convert each and every one of you–so be careful. They find you very attractive, and they will say creepy things to you. They are shape-shifters, for they have many faces. This particular False Willard is in the form of a guido named “Bisexual Bob,” or “Edom.” If and when you encounter “Bisexual Bob,” or “Edom,” make sure you do the right thing. When you least expect it, he will try some kind of sexual maneuver on you. So when he tries this maneuver, just repeat the mantra, “Go away, you must stay away.” That should force him to go away, but if the mantra doesn’t work, then I would suggest you run.

Stay strong in the true Willard.

These things I say in the name of Willard Pentameonus, thou ascendeth!