The Parasomnial Order

4 Comments

1. your loyal follower wrote:

   i have read thy doctrine and many wondrous thoughts. you have inspired me and you have left me with inquisitive questions. i see that you are on a self proclaimed mission, for what reasons do you follow on your ever winding path? why do you travel alone? what secrets do you withhold from the people who love and honor thee? what fuels this unforeseen passion of Willard, Elohim, and thee? help me understand o’ great prophet born of the star’s tears. let your knowledge and wisdom answer my questions of wonderment, so i to can be fulfilled.

   Tuesday, June 5, 2007 at 11:57 pm | Permalink
2. Matthew James wrote:

   Such Wonderful questions my faithful follower, I salute you for them.

   (1) I am on this winding path for reasons of Willard; I believe I was Willard in one of my past lives, and I feel that it is now I must share Willard’s story to all.

   (2) I travel alone because I receive revelation alone.

   (3) I withhold no secrets whatsoever, for it’s in the doctrine. And I quote:

   28 And it came to pass that Ishmael took one of his brothers’ daughters to wife, and they loved Xenu more than Antegod.

   29 And Xenu said unto Ishmael: Swear unto me by thy throat, and if thou not tell it thou shalt die; and swear thy brethren by their heads, and by the living Antegod, that they tell it; for if they tell it not, they shall surely die; and this that thy father may know it; and this day I will deliver thy brother Isaac into thine hands.

   30 And Xenu sware unto Ishmael that he would do according to his commands. And all these things were done in candor. ~Willard 7:28-30

   (4) My fuel is my Parasomnia.

   Wednesday, June 6, 2007 at 6:49 pm | Permalink
3. James wrote:

   Hey Matty, What the fuck are you thinking with this website, you are doomed to hell. I will send projectiles of mass perturbance your way, and your allies will turn against thy evil aura of perdition to spawn a holocaust rendetion of mormon indecision.

   Wednesday, August 8, 2007 at 11:12 pm | Permalink
4. Pentameonus Scholar wrote:

   Snaglesnatch was the old domain for this site, and now it has become a porno site, which has nothing to do with the Parasomnial Order. This was a post trying to explain why it was called SnagleSnatch, and I quote:

   “I was thinking about the word snaglesnatch the other day and how it doesn’t really fit in with my new found Evangelical Enthusiast Extraordinaire Persona.

   “Originally, http://www.snaglesnatch.com was the home of my homemade Record Label/Production Company. It started sometime in 2003; back when I used to occupy my free time with producing computer music and stupid little videos.

   “The following year, I heard about blogging from my friend Alex who was all jazzed about podcasts and whatnot. He was telling me how blogging was the next big thing and I should start doing it. At the time, I thought blogs were dumb because I didn’t have anything to write about, and who wanted to read about what kinds of foods I ate while attending Mesa College?

   “In the winter of 2005 was when things started to change. I posted ‘Songs for a Brainwashed Morman Child’ in a myspace group called Mormon Mafia. People got all pissed about my music and told me I was a moron for even posting it. I started writing things about how they were all brainwashed by an oppressive Mormocracy. I told them they were blindly following the Mormon cult for reasons of mindless stupidity.

   “I started to call myself a prophet, and not just any prophet, a true prophet; one with prosthetic visions and revelations. Then, I started posting diatribes against the Mormon Church. I felt that these diatribes were pretty good and deserved more recognition. So I decided to make a blog about my new found religion and post these wonderful diatribes for all to read.

   “I kept the snaglesnatch domain because I didn’t want to deal with another one, and, I knew it really didn’t fit with my new writings. I tried various things to make it fit, but, they just didn’t work.

   “Now, what do I do with the word snaglesnatch? I’ll tell you what I am going to do, but first, you must know the history of the word. The term snaglesnatch is a term I use to describe women who make getting to first base as difficult as solving pi (just to first base mind you).

   “I bet your wondering why it’s spelled like it is. Well, I thought about this for awhile and figured it was better with one G, because, that’s how snagletooth is spelled. Then after I put up the original website; I realized that snaggletooth had two G’s. I searched snagglesnatch and found it was already a website for the band of the same name. So the spelling has always been with one G, for reasons of; it’s just better that way.

   “Used in a sentence, it looks like this: “Who would have ever thought that Tonya had a snaglesnatch?” Now that you know of the word’s meaning, I am going to incorporate it into my ever changing doctrine by making it the enlightened state of consciousness one achieves when the evil snagle is removed from their original state of snatch.

   “My church will offer expensive classes for the removing of there inner snagle by releasing it into the wild, which leaves them in their natural pristine state of snatch. Then they will be presented with a prize for their hard work in snagle removal. Not just any prize, but a brand new bottle of Pretty Beaver hair dye!” -Richard Bushwoman

   Thursday, September 25, 2008 at 9:10 am | Permalink

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